Sunday, 16 August 2015

Eight Ways To Have Mummy 'Me' Time

Ah one of the great joys of being a Mum is all the time we have to spend on ourselves. We are forever taking lovely little breaks and having a nice rest. Tea is always hot and never like luke warm sick. The TV is always on Made in Chelsea and never Peppa Pig. And we sleep? Like babies...which is weird as in reality our babies never f*cking sleep. I can't remember the last time I had a hot drink and if I see that bingly bongly episode of Peppa one more time? I'm going to smash my own face in. So here are the ways to try and sneak in a bit of 'me' time in. Whilst being the Mother of teeny tiny people.

1) Drive to the McDonalds drive through and indulge in a McFlurry whilst they nap. Every time you take a mouthful of those sweet smarties. Relish in the fact? YOU AREN'T SHARING!!!

2) Try getting up an hour before your children do to watch New Girl in peace. However as my children get up at 6am? This sometimes means me watching it though half shut eyes at 5am.

3) Make Dad do bath time. Take your bra off and hit the trendiest new bar in town! The one in your back garden. Pyjamas are allowed and multipack chocolate bars are always on offer to eat. Two or more is compulsory. 

4) If you have to do a train journey alone. Make the most of this time buy indulging in booze in a tin and Percy (and not that sod Peppa) Pigs. However if your journeys alone are at 7am on the way to work? I would scrap this one.

5) Have a bath! Lock the door, ignoring the screams as they run riot around your husband and in no way shape or form gag at the stinking mouldy toys approximately two inches from your face. 

6) See number 1. But replace with a Diet Coke and a McChicken Sandwich Meal.

7) Hide in the kitchen and eat leftover pick n mix. Put the radio on loudly. Shout you are "washing up!". If they come in? Claim it's medicine for mmmmmm your 'poorly' hand or summat.

8) Household chores constitute as 'me time'. Could be vacuuming, could be packing, or hey even polishing! (which can easily be done with a baby wipe). You used to go out for drinks with your chums to relax. Now you lie face down on your bed surrounded by tiny shoes and grown men's trunks. You lucky, lucky thing! 

Other 'me times' include: the weekly shop, reading Heat magazine on the toilet whilst you poo, popping to the doctors for a smear test, getting an emergency filling and the most luxurious of all me times? Getting your hair cut so you don't look like a hobo. In fact with all this me time? One wonders why we moan!*

*totes sarcastic obvs.


  1. I'm always over the moon when they both fall asleep in the car, and I have been known to park up outside the house and have a 5 minute snooze myself. Just wish there was a drive thru Starbucks!

    I also always volunteer to get take away or pick up friends from the station in the evening when the kids are asleep to have those rare moments outside the house on my own.

  2. I can relate to so many of these. I take quite a long time in the toilet (Twitter and Heat) and it's remarkable how long putting the washing away can take as I'm on Twitter and Instagram. I sneaked off to McDonalds when they were little and am skilled in the art of hiding to eat chocolate. Solo train journeys are the best. All I need is a book. It's a shame I only get about two a year!

  3. I have taken to buying "special chocolate only for mums" that under no circumstances must the children touch. Even my other half has to ask first ;-) Obviously, I help the kids eat their chocolate too.

  4. Yes!!!! I never realised us mummies were supposed to have "us" time!!!!
    Finally getting Bean into a routine and she's now asleep.... glass of wine NAILED!!!!!
    Going to hand sow a quilt now :D
    Hope you enjoy some time too!!

  5. A smear test? I have just died laughing x

  6. What a great list. The one I like is emptying bin and putting it outside. The quietness in the garden is the best even if it is only for 30 seconds or so. lol

  7. I love this!!! I have no shame in catching up with social media on the loo, means I get a bit of peace and quiet if I lock the door ;) I quite often drive to a local viewpoint when my son is snoozing in the back of the car - even better if I've planned ahead and picked up food - and it's bliss!

  8. Booked in to have my wisdom tooth out next Thursday and husband is off work so I can go to bed and feel sorry for myself afterwards. Part of me is totally looking forward to this!

  9. I too have parked outside the house and napped when mine have fallen asleep. Heavenly. And smear test is *such* a treat! 😏

  10. Haha! So true. Those 'me' moments sound so glamorous. Who cares I suppose. At least you are alone. I am happy to have a smear test these days. It means I can be all by myself. Happy days!

  11. Popping to the doctors for a smear test. Oh what luxury! Love it. I regularly shut myself in the kitchen with my headphones on and music blaring loudly so that I can't even hear them. Bad mummy? Needs must! x

  12. I had a gall bladder attack on sat night so spent most of the evening in hospital on a trolly. Its the best rest ive had in a long time!! Hubby had to do the night feeds too because the pain was excruciating xx

  13. I just snorted at 'smear test'! I hide in the kitchen and sneak chocolate from the secret chocolate cupboard and then tell my husband my son ate it. Whoops!

  14. Ha love this! I miss the days when they would both nap in the cars. Now I can't even do any chores without a 'helper'. Sigh. Roll on the next smear (HA!) x

  15. Love this! As usual another 'on the nose' post.

  16. Costa drive through is a 'me time' saviour with my four-month-old!


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