They don't half train them young nowadays
The worst of times have been missing doing school runs and nursery drop offs. Not being able to go to the harvest festival or the first Year One parents evening. My three year old son worries that if there was a fire I wouldn't be able to escape from the house. Yeah that nearly killed me when he said that. Some days I am on my own from 7:30am - 6pm. It's really lonely. I am a creature of insanity so sometimes my mind has wondered down avenues that I don't want them to go down. There has been much weeping and frustration.
But there has been positives. I have been a captive audience for my two children. My girl has sat next to me to do her homework and my boy has cuddled me in bed watching YouTube. My in laws have stepped in to care for my beauties before and after school and my parents have been around to take me to the doctors. My husband has shown that he is the most spectacular father. He has taken over the household duties and sadly for him now I know he can do it? He will be doing them forever more.
Showing me her star award in my bed. SHE ROCKS
I have been thankful during this time to my beloved blog and YouTube channel. It's given me something to do from the confines of my bed. Replying to comments and engaging with readers and viewers has kept me from totally spiralling. Despite most of my social media updates coming from my bed or living room no-one has said "JESUS DON'T YOU EVER CHANGE THOSE SHEETS?". It's forced me to put a clean top on now and then and brush my hair. The gifts and cards I have received from my friends I have met through blogging has often made me cry.
What some of you don't know is that I went through all of this when I was 18. And it got so bad that I ended up in a wheelchair before I had an operation and today I found myself looking into hiring one again. So I can be part of the family. In a few weeks my dreams have come true. I've been asked to interview the lady that inspired me to start my blog, live on stage at the Mumsnet Blogging conference. And it looks like I might be doing it on wheels or rocking my pimp stick. And I don't know what I think about this? I really don't. I know in time I will get better, I know that this is just a blip and I know there are people that have it a lot worse than me. And that really I am very lucky.
One of the many blurred bed selfies I now own
So that is my little life update. At the moment I am the absent mum. Next week I am going to stay at my parents house with my children so I can spend time with them. We have a few trips out planned and I will struggle along with my stick and watch from the sidelines. I have bought us matching Halloween jumpers to wear even if we are sat in the house watching spooky movies. I will keep you updated and I can only apologise that you've seen the inside of my bedroom more than my husband has recently (he has to sleep with my son). Normal service will resume soon. I hope. Fingers crossed eh.
*Thanks for any advice you may offer but I have been advised to wait for an MRI until I do any other treatments*