1.11.16

Dear Adele...

Dear Adele

Firstly may I start off by saying you are beautiful, your voice is amazing and sometimes I get a bit cross that my eyeliner game will NEVER be as strong as yours. But this week you did something that was better than all of those things combined (yes, even the eyeliner). You were honest. You expressed something that millions of women around the world feel each and every day. That whilst motherhood is amazing (and obviously I have to do the disclaimer that we always do: "I love my kids, I really do"). Some parts of it? Are f*cking hard.

You talked about your PND. Describing that you were guilty when you worked, you felt inadequate and you wondered sometimes if you had made the wrong decision having a baby. But the magical part of your article was that when you told a friend you "f*ckin hate this" she replied that she "f*ckin hated it too". And that then? Something was lifted. Often it can feel that the guilt we are experiencing, or the loneliness, or exhaustion means that we are not doing it right. That we are failing at the one job we are born to do. But if you, Adele of the marvellous voice and killer eyeliner, feels the same as us? Then maybe, just maybe we are all feeling the same.


Next time I am leaving my two to go to work and one of them is ill, or one of them is screaming "BUT I WAAAANNNNTTTT YOUUU MUMMMMY" I will think of you Adele and know if you are getting the guilt it is quite alright for me to feel the same. You take an afternoon to yourself each week and this is one of the hardest things for us Mum's to do. But it's OK to do it. It's OK to go to Starbucks with a friend or even take a whizz around Asda on our own. It doesn't mean we don't love our kids it means we want to be the best Mum that we can be. And if that means we just want to swim 25 lengths or hide in a room and watch Made In Chelsea for an hour that that's what we need to do.

We all need to talk a bit more about it. Imagine at the end of every baby club there was a bit where everyone could just say what they really felt. Not how weaning was going, or whose baby slept through the night first. What was really on our minds. Might be "I feel like I want to smash my husband in the face when he doesn't get up in the night" or "sometimes I'm so tired I hide in my room and cry for ten minutes". No instead we sit in a circle and sing the wheels on the bus whilst the babies (who really don't give a sh*t) just lie there and we die a little bit inside.


So Adele what might have been a simple interview and a few off the cuff comments you really will help loads of new Mums today. Ones that haven't found someone to go "I f*ckin hate this" too quite yet. And maybe you will start a trend? Maybe the Kardashians will instagram themselves with baby sick lodged firmly in their beautiful locks. Or perhaps Holly Willoughby will be spotted in Asda trying to prize one of her children off the floor in the magazine aisle. Who knows? But Adele today you are my hero. Even if your eyeliner is better than mine.

Lots of love someone who f*ckin hates it too sometimes

Em x
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