Tuesday, 4 April 2017

Comparison Is The Thief Of Joy

This week sees another group of parenting bloggers disappointed that they haven't made it through to work with a certain parenting network. Hurt that they feel their face doesn't fit or that they aren't good/thin/young enough. Working in social media you are opened up to a whole world of comparison. Comparing how you raise your children, what your home should look like, how you should dress and even how you should hold your cup of tea in the morning. And? It can send you bat sh*t cray cray. Take it from someone who knows and has cried a bit about her Mum tum and tantruming boy in the past.

There have been numerous campaigns in the last three years where I have made it through to the final stages only to find someone thinner, prettier, or cooler making the final cut. Popping up on my Facebook feed in adverts for clothes they would NEVER wear. Yet I rock on a daily basis. Brands have sent me emails saying that they don't like the fact I sometimes swear and one particular client didn't like the way I wrote with a Midlands accent and referred to my children as 'kids'. And it can make you question yourself.

Yes I look like this on the internet sometimes

But you have to stop. You have to embrace that the internet has more than enough room for everyone. And sure those who look a certain way may always do that little bit better. Society favours the beautiful and the young and sadly probably always will. However I have found what works is being happy for those people, congratulate them, watch them succeed and then? Try and work out how the f*ck I can do the same in my own way. How I can stay true to myself and find my own path to success.

I have found the best way to do this is just to be yourself. With a tinge of working really bloody hard. So you didn't get chosen for something based on your YouTube channel. Well pick yourself up and think "f*ck you" and take every training session Google has to offer (on the sidebar of your channel) and try to smash it in your own way. I know I am NEVER going to be Zoella but I am working hard in my own way and that makes me proud. My instagram feed is full of me looking like a tramp and my Facebook page tells tales about how I quite fancy my postman. As that's me.

Being awarded for being me!

So for every disappointment you get. Every time you get knocked down. For each instagram account you stare at and think "WHY IS THAT NOT ME". Give yourself a mental slap in the face and remind yourself that there is room on the internet for everyone. There really is. For every gorgeous, young Mum who lives in a beautiful house and is quite frankly smashing it? There is room for a chubby, old one who loves a gin, swears and says "bab" a lot. Comparison is the thief of joy. It really is. Take that negative energy and think to yourself "I am going to be so f*cking successful the next time that brand who turned me down ask to work with me? I am going to tell them to shove it up their arses". However don't do that, work with them, take their money and relish in the joy? You won.


  1. Fabulous post ! As long as we remain true to ourselves we will eventually shine through. Social media is full of perfect, slim, pretty 20 somethings with perfect lives but that's not real life is it? Stick to being you. And be true to yourself. You are lovely just as you are. ( and I don't ever want to hear you talking posh !) :-)

    1. To be fair bab, wasn't zoella a bit of a fraud who didn't event write her own book? Defo stay true to yourself and you'll always come out shining xx

  2. Go you! I'm a new follower.. older and fatter living in Redditch.. you've made me laugh which is just what we want! We can relate to you! Thank you Emma

  3. Absolutely this! Vlogging in particular is so hard not to compare yourself to others. You are fab and have exactly the right attitude.

  4. Love this. So true and something we need to be reminded of.

  5. Hell to the yes! This is why I'm currently taking some time out as I found it all too much and was constantly feeling like a failure. Great attitude emma, and it's obviously working! X

  6. Must be the name because I feel the same. I'm proud of who I am, what I've achieved and that's ultimately what matters. I think There s an awful lot of bloggers and people on social media who probably need to get tougher and remember it's going to happen time and time again. I always think it about people who work witvboutdoor brands who've never set foot in the countryside and I get missed. But hey, good for them and the brands miss out on a great natural fit. Something else will come along and if it doesn't then go out and ask. We cant all have everything .

  7. consider my face slapped. I am one of the people that left a "I'm a load of shite" comment on the mum vlog feed, I've got a grip now, sorta. But its true, it really is the thief of joy and its a battle I am always fighting. Maybe it is because I write the word "shite" in blog comments? who knows (p.s. I think the E on the end really adds emphasis to the word)

  8. But they didn't win Blog of the Year, did they? You are brilliant at what you do, so sod them! There is definitely room for all of us - even a mid-40s, skinny mum of two teenager and a tween, well, as long as said mum doesn't expect actual money or things for her blog! It would be nice to be invited to events for tween girls or people who like football (rather than people who don't actually fit these categories) but I just blog for the love of it and I'm happy with that!

  9. Love this! I don't know which particular competition you're referring to but the world is full of them. Every time an ambassadorship comes up the world of blogging explodes in misery again.

    You're the world expert on being you, stick with that. It's good enough.

  10. Love this.I wrote a post a few days ago about being different and all of your post made me nod along. If we are the all the same, looked the same and wrote the same then it wouldn't be interesting. I rarely comment ( sorry ) but love your blog. Keep rocking. X

  11. It's so tricky - we all know it's a highlight reel more often than not, but bloody hell it all stings! I have only just found you and I am so grateful - legit was starting to question my potty mouth, but then I look at you and thought "fuck it" - because you like it. I like it. There must be more? Loved your post x

  12. Love this post, it's a really trick balance isn't it. Comparison does indeed suck the joy out of life at times.


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