And when I do get my wages what do I treat myself too? Well top five of my list of treats are; new slippers, new pyjamas, some cheap 342 Boots make up, Tesco pants and perhaps a nice dress from Matalan. God I love new slippers. Money seems to trickle through my hands and my bank account is forever dangerously close to the end of my overdraft. I'm always on the look out for a sale, or an offer. I can spend hours scouring ASOS for a discounted outfit for a wedding and it's a dark day in hell when I buy something from Sainsbury's without 25% off.
Shall I buy myself a new top...or...YOU A GIANT ICE CREAM?!
But do my kids notice this? Do they feel deprived? No because this mug of a Mum can more often than not be found shoving cash into an assistants hand for ridiculous things like JoJo bows (AND IT BROKE...don't get me started), for lovely winter coats, for school shoes, for 5627 million Shopkins that will be lost by the time they get home. Then there's birthday party presents required for each weekend, school trips, holidays. It's never ending! And when I fork over money for all this stuff am I angry and begrudging?
No. I am not. When I gave my little girl the JoJo bow she desired so badly my heart soared. She was so happy running around with this ridiculous thing perched on her head like a slightly over the top parrot. And I was happy she was happy. Sometimes photos pop up on my Facebook from four years ago and I am in the same frock I was wearing then. And it makes me want to reassess my life. Should I really be aiming to desire more than brand new slippers. Should I be saving for a fancy new car rather than buying another Star Wars blind bag that will be left at the bottom of my car for time immortal?
These bows? Are ridiculous
Probably. But for the next few years I am going to have to make do with rocking three year old Top Shop leggings, scrimping and saving for some new winter boots. Whilst my kids swan around looking like little models with Shopkins dripping out of their pockets like diamonds. I've still got the Burberry scarf you know. And a Marc Jacobs bag. Sometimes I wear them outside for old times sake. But you look a bit bonkers queuing up for the Next sale in designer gear. Money? I miss you but I know this time is short lived...it's not like teenagers are expensive? Is it????