Sunday, 26 March 2017

Dear Mum In The Striped Pyjamas

Dear Mum in the Striped Pyjamas...

Congratulations! This week you get to celebrate your very first Mothers Day! I bet you are basking in the glow of your little one. Feeling relaxed, refreshed and generally being treated like the Queen you are. No? Oh I forgot your child is younger than one. More than likely you are knackered, in your pyjamas again and wondering when it all gets a little bit, well more rewarding?

I am here as the voice of reason and the voice of hope to tell you? It does. At the moment you may be in charge of a new born. Not knowing your arse from your elbow, consumed with a sort of tiredness you never ever knew was possible. Your day is a routine of sterilising and washing. Oh and a bit more washing. Or? You may be trying to wean your little one. Cursing Annabel Karmel and wondering how the hell you get your small child to eat a whole piece of mango. Or you could be at the nine month stage and work is on the horizon. Your stomach is a knot of guilt and each moment is more bitter sweet than the last.

Mother's Day
She's asleep! This is a breeze!!! (sound of sh*t hitting a fan)

Thursday, 23 March 2017

Why Mother's Day Is So Important To Mums

Being a Mum is a funny old job. There are no pay rises if you do something particularly amazing like I dunno, teach your child how to poo in a potty. There's no appraisals and no boss to say "you are doing a bloody amazing job". It's a 24/7 career and sometimes it can be pretty damn demeaning. From cleaning up sick and wee, to wiping yet another grubby bottom. There's also the element of this vocation which relies on you being able to cope on no sleep and all in all? It can be f*cking exhausting.

I always remember being baffled after my first born. I said to friends "I have been doing everything for this tiny human for six months and am not really getting anything back". OK there was the odd gummy grim (or was that a burp?) and there sometimes a cute giggle (again or was that a burp?). As your children get older of course you get the "I love you" and hugs that knock you off your feet but still no-one really can pin point if you are doing 'it' (whatever it is) right.

Monday, 20 March 2017

10 Spring Fashion Must-Haves For Mums!

The converse is the perfect pair of shoes for Mums up and down the country. The half shoe half pump hybrid is ideal to chase small humans around the park, run like a blue arsed fly to the school gates when you're late as NO ONE WOULD GET THEIR F*CKING COATS ON and best of all? They can be shoved in the washing machine when they begin to stink like a hobos pants.

A Jazzy Scarf
Nothing says "making an effort" like a jazzy scarf. You know the kind I mean. Not woolly, bit floaty and tied around your neck to hide a multitude of sins. Double chins, bit of sick on your shoulder and if you have a floral one on? You think no-one will notice your grubby hair. You my friend? Are wrong. If anything it only highlights it.

You're not quite ready to tackle the beasts that are your hairy legs so you opt for 'the legging'. Ones that come down to your ankles and right up to your tits. Thick, black and often accompanied with a strange stain on the side of one leg. Which you don't spot until you are meeting your childless friend who snubs a legging preferring a high waisted skinny jean from Top Shop. The smug b*tch.

Spring Fashion Must Haves

7 Tips For Visiting The London Eye With Children!

The London Eye

This year we are lucky enough to be working again with Merlin as one of their Annual Family Pass Blog Ambassadors. So over recently we hit London with the aim of taking our two small children to the top of the world. We had an amazing time so I thought I would impart a bit of advice in case you fancy the best view of the capital from The Coca Cola London Eye but are bit anxious bringing two small children in tow.

The London Eye With Kids

Tuesday, 14 March 2017

I've Got A Little Secret

Right. Let's start at the very beginning shall we? When I went back to work with my second child I was lucky enough to be allowed to return to teaching part time. Within a month of coming back from my maternity leave I started my blog and at that point had NO IDEA how much hard work it would take to keep it afloat. Alongside lesson planning, marking, reports and the general exhaustion of working in a busy secondary school. I was also up at 5am writing, during the day being constantly on social media, again writing during bathtime and often Saturday mornings and Sunday afternoons were spent making and editing videos. So essentially? I went from having one full time teaching job to two part time jobs. Where? I was actually working more hours.

And don't get me wrong I loved both of my careers with equal passion. And this carried on for just under three years until? The fateful day I was awarded 'Blog of the Year' and twerked myself into a wheelchair. Seriously. I twerked and within a week couldn't walk. And remained like this for three months. I was bed bound for the majority of it and I started to realise something. Despite being ever so poorly I ironically wasn't as stressed. I had time to do homework with my daughter when she sat next to my bed. I managed to watch box sets of programmes I had always wanted to see and I slept (OK that was probably the heavy opiates) but I slept really well.

No clue within the week? I wouldn't be able to walk...