Cue five months later when I am hanging off the bedroom radiator screeching at the top of my lungs whilst my husband looked on terrified, wishing he was back doing drama with random men. I'm not sure why, but since giving birth I am now devoid of ANY dignity. Once you have had more than one hand shoved up your privates you kinda don't care any more. That wolf like howl is the just the first in list of very loud moans and groans and sighs I make now I am a Mum. Not sexual of course. Whose got time for that? There's episodes of Real Housewives to watch...
The Early Morning Groan
"Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuumy" you hear. You look at the alarm clock. It says 5:37am. And you sit up. Throw your legs over the side of the bed. Rub your eyes. And groan. The only way to explain this noise is the sound of a Mummy in an old Scooby Doo cartoon. It's a groan to represent it's early, it's cold, it somehow seems TO BE YOU TURN TO GET UP AGAIN. It's a groan of sad resignation. And you have learnt this groan is far more productive than screaming at the top of your voice "Oh for f*cks sake!".
Oh that's a lovely cup of tea!