11 Ways To Feel 'Beach Ready' When You're A Bit Chubby

1. Lose a sh*t load of weight three months before you go on holiday...

2....Or forget to do this and plan to rock the body you've already got.

3. NEVER try on costumes in Primark. Sure you can get three for £20. But the way your soul is destroyed as it dawns on you that your body is too long, your gut is too big and your tits are too saggy to fit into them is not worth the hassle. Invest in an over the shoulder boulder holder from M&S. And try not to cringe as you hand over £36.

Ten Ways To Plan The PERFECT Disneyland Paris Trip!

Since our children have been babies we have visited the wonderful Disneyland Paris each year as a family. It's one of our favourite holiday locations alongside Walt Disney World so I thought I would note down some information we use to help us have a truly magical time. As well as some easy tips we have picked up along the way! These are based on 2019 so please be sure to check the parks site here to make sure they are up to date and the Disneyland Paris For Brits Facebook Page is an amazing resource! Let's get started...

Booking Your Holiday
I often get asked when is the best time for children to visit Disneyland Paris. We have been taking our daughter since she was two and our son since he was three months old. Each year they had an amazing time. For me I think the best age is any age they still believe in the magic of the characters. But any time is great as there are things to do for ALL ages. We generally wait for an offer to come on the Disneyland Paris site. Booking our hotel and park tickets there, flights via Expedia. This trip we went with Disneyland Paris Direct who did a great deal and provided a really fab service.

If you're staying onsite get in the parks at 8am for that lovely castle photo!

14 Things Every New Mum Needs To Survive

When you get pregnant you start to scour books for 'what you might need'. You find little lists in the back of the free Boots magazine. Or maybe something that is dished out by midwives on the hospital tour. They contain the obvious like nappies and wipes. To things you may not have been aware of before like muslins and breast pumps. But I am here you to tell you the really useful stuff. The items that have kept me sane in the past seven years of growing and producing two tiny people. Chuck out your olds lists. This list. Is definitive:

1. Dry Shampoo
Showers are limited as soon as you produce your first child. You can attempt the 'get up before them' shower or the 'jump in whilst they nap' shower. But? These are ditched after about four days when you realise? There is is something invented that makes your hair look clean(ish) and gives off a smell like foreign holidays. The rest of your body? Tackle with a baby wipe.

2. CBeebies
"My kids won't be shoved in front of the tele!" I exclaimed. Cue about a month in when my daughter was transfixed by psychotically creepy Mr Tumble and it meant I could sleep with my eyes open for ten minutes. Eight years later I now have a love/hate relationship with kids TV. I LOVE Dr Ranj. I HATE f*cking Topsy and Tim's Mum. Nause.

3. A Tablet
We now are the owners of four tablets. One got smashed by a tiny foot. Two are full of kids games downloaded. And the other? A spare. Yes a spare? In case one runs out of battery and your toddler is screaming for "BABY SHARK". Tablets mean you can wash up in peace. Tablets mean you can lie in for that extra hour. Tablets mean? Taking a crap without an audience. Bliss.

Before the sh*t (quite literally) hit the fan

I Love To Watch You Whilst You Dance...

To my beautiful children

Lots of times I use this blog as a way of noting down stuff for you to read when you are a bit older. Kinda like a reference guide for when you become parents. I've talked about tantrums (TERRIBLE), potty training (OH GOD IT WAS HORRIFIC), how I felt after a C-Section (GRIM) and how awful you were when you were four Ethan (SWEET JESUS IT NEARLY BROKE ME) so today I thought I would write about something a little bit different. Simply entitled 'I love to watch you whilst you dance'. Because I do. There is nothing that fills my heart with such pure joy than watching you two dance.

I suppose if you're a new reader to the blog you might think "oh isn't it lovely she sends her kids to dance classes and they are now so great at it!". You would be quite, quite wrong. As whilst my little girl does indeed go to Freestyle sometimes these dances are terrible. Just awful. They aren't on the beat. They involve moves that probably could never be repeated if they tried. They always seem to take place at the end of my bed and occasionally there will be a fight mid way through. Or I dunno some sort of really weird bit where no-one moves and somebody whispers "your turn" "no it's you turn!" and I painfully just have to watch it all unfold.

What's Been Going On With Me...

It's be a while since I've done a chatty update kinda blog but I felt that the time was right to sit down and write some words that hopefully may help some of you out there. During January I made the decision that I was going to start therapy. In the past few years I have changed careers, going from part time to full time and lived through a pretty traumatic accident and it just hit me like a ton of bricks. At times I was miserable. Not "bit grumpy but an episode of TOWIE and some Fruit Pastilles will make me happy". But really miserable. Once I sat fully clothed in the shower for hours. Refusing to leave. Stephen said he would turn it on. I said I didn't care. That kind of miserable.

There were a variety of things that made me feel this way. A culmination of little tiny things here and there that slowly ground me down and messed with my inner workings. Some of them including comments from trolls on threads about everything in my life. From the way I look, to my husband not wanting to sleep me with me, to how I spend my money, to discussing health issues with my daughter. I had got past the point of being able to move on from these comments and they were sticking to me like feathers in tar. I also work in an industry where you are constantly compared and judged. 

Transpires...going away for work alone...is kinda fun!