Dear Daddy...I'm Sorry...

Dear Daddy...

This is a little letter to say "thank you". It's not something I say often and I wanted it written down for you to refer to in the future. For those times I am cross. Or tired. For those times I shout when you get in late from work and everyone is fighting around me. Or the mornings when I have to get up with the children, despite you having had lie ins for the past seven weeks. Whilst these are the things that can annoy me, drive me mad and whisper swear "For f*cks sake", this is a letter about the other 90% of the things you do. That sometimes can go unnoticed.

Thank you for being an amazing Dad. It sometimes feel unfair that I am more often than not the bad cop but I'm so pleased that you're around to be the good one. The 6ft2 gentle giant that can throw my children high in the air and carry them on your shoulders (whilst I squeal "DON'T HURT THEM"). The one that will always get in the swimming pool and go flying down the slides when Mummy doesn't fancy getting her hair wet. You push them higher than I ever would on a swing and I've seen you knee deep in more ball pools than I would like to count.

Dating. The 90's Way.

It's that time of year when Love Island hits our screens again. In between trying to work out what I would look like with lip injections and false eyelashes. I am also baffled by the men's shortest of shorts and the girl's pointed false nails which have no place around a swimming pool and one wonders how the hell they wipe their bleached bum holes?

But mainly what I am thinking is. Jeez dating in the 90's was SO MUCH EASIER. Without the creation of social media, hell we didn't even have a mobile phone, life was simpler. Rejection was private. And the only "mugging off "was a nice cup of tea awkwardly with your current boyfriends parents whilst you waited for them to get ready to go out. Which simply involved putting on cleanish jeans and not modern ones that exactly look like ladies leggings.  

Asking Someone Out

We. Had to. Gasp. Speak to each other! It may be over a drunken £1 a shot night out at uni or at a house party of a random person we didn't know. I also remember writing a little note that was sent via another lad to my hearts desire with my phone number on. My home phone number. Which resulted in the terrifying...

Our life line to love...but only after 6pm

11 Ways To Feel 'Beach Ready' When You're A Bit Chubby

1. Lose a sh*t load of weight three months before you go on holiday...

2....Or forget to do this and plan to rock the body you've already got.

3. NEVER try on costumes in Primark. Sure you can get three for £20. But the way your soul is destroyed as it dawns on you that your body is too long, your gut is too big and your tits are too saggy to fit into them is not worth the hassle. Invest in an over the shoulder boulder holder from M&S. And try not to cringe as you hand over £36.

Ten Ways To Plan The PERFECT Disneyland Paris Trip!

Since our children have been babies we have visited the wonderful Disneyland Paris each year as a family. It's one of our favourite holiday locations alongside Walt Disney World so I thought I would note down some information we use to help us have a truly magical time. As well as some easy tips we have picked up along the way! These are based on 2019 so please be sure to check the parks site here to make sure they are up to date and the Disneyland Paris For Brits Facebook Page is an amazing resource! Let's get started...

Booking Your Holiday
I often get asked when is the best time for children to visit Disneyland Paris. We have been taking our daughter since she was two and our son since he was three months old. Each year they had an amazing time. For me I think the best age is any age they still believe in the magic of the characters. But any time is great as there are things to do for ALL ages. We generally wait for an offer to come on the Disneyland Paris site. Booking our hotel and park tickets there, flights via Expedia. This trip we went with Disneyland Paris Direct who did a great deal and provided a really fab service.

If you're staying onsite get in the parks at 8am for that lovely castle photo!

14 Things Every New Mum Needs To Survive

When you get pregnant you start to scour books for 'what you might need'. You find little lists in the back of the free Boots magazine. Or maybe something that is dished out by midwives on the hospital tour. They contain the obvious like nappies and wipes. To things you may not have been aware of before like muslins and breast pumps. But I am here you to tell you the really useful stuff. The items that have kept me sane in the past seven years of growing and producing two tiny people. Chuck out your olds lists. This list. Is definitive:

1. Dry Shampoo
Showers are limited as soon as you produce your first child. You can attempt the 'get up before them' shower or the 'jump in whilst they nap' shower. But? These are ditched after about four days when you realise? There is is something invented that makes your hair look clean(ish) and gives off a smell like foreign holidays. The rest of your body? Tackle with a baby wipe.

2. CBeebies
"My kids won't be shoved in front of the tele!" I exclaimed. Cue about a month in when my daughter was transfixed by psychotically creepy Mr Tumble and it meant I could sleep with my eyes open for ten minutes. Eight years later I now have a love/hate relationship with kids TV. I LOVE Dr Ranj. I HATE f*cking Topsy and Tim's Mum. Nause.

3. A Tablet
We now are the owners of four tablets. One got smashed by a tiny foot. Two are full of kids games downloaded. And the other? A spare. Yes a spare? In case one runs out of battery and your toddler is screaming for "BABY SHARK". Tablets mean you can wash up in peace. Tablets mean you can lie in for that extra hour. Tablets mean? Taking a crap without an audience. Bliss.

Before the sh*t (quite literally) hit the fan