Thursday, 16 April 2020

So It Looks Like You're Off To School...

(A little vintage post written when I got the letter about my youngest going to school...sob)

Dear Beautiful Boy

Today I got the email I had been avoiding thinking about. The one that says you are leaving me. The one that says that as of September you are no longer mine but you are are going off out into the big wide world. You are off to school. When I wrote a similar letter to your big sister two years ago it didn't hurt quite so much as I had you. You were there to fill my days with giggles and cuddles. You were there to snuggle in front of the tele with me. Go on adventures to parks or pop to Poundland for treats your sister didn't know about. But now you're off too.

starting school

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Perfect Arts And Crafts For Your Homeschool!

(This is a paid advertorial by wilko) Many of you reading this will be at home at the moment trying to keep your little ones occupied during this unprecedented time. You might be homeschooling, entertaining them during the weekend as you are an all important key worker or hoping to keep them busy whilst you take a conference call in another room. wilko, alongside all of its stores being open for essentials, is currently still running an online service. Which means you can order all sorts of bits and pieces to while away the hours. Ensuring your children are happy and leaving you to focus on what needs to be done around the house.


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Thursday, 13 February 2020

10 Reasons Why Female Friends Kick Ass

1. When You're Boring? They Listen
They will listen when I'm cross with my husband. They will be there when I've fallen out with someone at work. They patiently smile whilst I bang on about a never ending tirade of boring crap that normal people would say "SHUT THE F*CK UP" too. But my friends? Listen.

2. When You're Laughing. They Laugh Too
My friend and I call each other Linda. That's not funny. But to us? Hilarious. There is no one on earth that will make you belly laugh like a friend. To the point where tears are rolling down your face and a little bit of wee comes out. Which makes you laugh more.

3. They Love You. Even When You Look Like Sh*t
It has got to the stage with my closest friends that I am reluctant to put a bra on for them. In fact if you visit my house and I have no bra on and am in my pyjamas? Then you my friend are on my besties list. And if I do the same in your house? Consider yourself honoured (and maybe have a word with me as that is a step too far).

#nobra


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Sunday, 9 February 2020

'Will I Ever Pee Alone Again?' - Your Book Questions Answered!

If you follow me on social media you will know that excitingly on March 5th I release my very first book with Little Brown Books! 'Will I Ever Pee Alone Again?' is a collection of 77 poems I've written about motherhood, relationships, friendship and body confidence. I took to instagram and asked you to ask me anything you wanted about the book...I sat down and filmed a super chatty video answering them all for you. I also talk about books I love, books the kids love and the process of how to write a book. I even give you a sneak peak of a poem in the description. So grab a cuppa, shove on a couch blanket and enjoy...


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Monday, 3 February 2020

The Seven Stages Of Sibling Spite

A vintage post from February 2017 to make you smile...thankfully they have stopped fighting...a bit!

One of the many reasons I had another child was I thought that it would be good for the two of them to grow up together. To play with each other. To make each other smile and to generally be besties. F*ck me I got that wrong! From the minute they wake up (generally before 6am obvs) till the minute we get them into bed kicking and screaming they row, they bicker, they shout, they push, they tell tales and generally? They seem to well, kinda hate each other. There are different causes to their anger and hatred towards each other. They can be summed up like this:

Sharing (NOT)
The amount of times I say "share, share, SHARE! FOR GODS SAKE SHARE!" a day? Is unreasonable. They don't share. They pull, they grab, they hide things. They do the polar opposite of sharing. They fight over the tablet. They fight over The Gruffalo Book. They fight for twenty minutes over a free three year old Mr Tumble phone. Then it snaps. And they blame each other for not sharing. And I die a little inside.

Shouting
Ahhh the joy of a sibling shout off. Generally over something really important. Such as one wanting the sing along words at the bottom of the Trolls DVD and the other not wanting it. The one who didn't want it can't read anyway SO WHY DID HE CARE?  The shouting starts as a mild rumble and then is just two kids, standing and screaming at each other. Probably forgetting even why they started. Now I tend to just walk away and hide in the kitchen...


Angry as he DIDN'T cream face in his face and she did


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