Sunday, 12 July 2015

A Night In A Hotel With Kids. The Dream V The Reality

You get an invitation. It may be to a wedding. Or you may have to stay over somewhere the night before a flight. Or perhaps you throw caution into the wind and decide to take your small children away for a mini-break. Yeah sure in the past being confined in a hotel room overnight with two tots was pure hell on earth. But this time. This time? It will be different...

Accommodation:
The Dream - you manage to find a lovely hotel. It has a fridge where you can handily pop in milk for bedtime or snacks for the morning. The beds are spacious and there's plenty of room for the buggy to be stored.
The Reality - WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS? No fridge for milk. The beds seem to be one double bed, then two dwarf beds and the buggy? Serves as somewhere to place a suitcase on. And sh*t...no bath! Bedtime routine? Is officially screwed.

Evenings Entertainment:
The Dream: the wifi code is easily found and allows you to have both phones on it and the tablet. Which the children are quietly watching YouTube on. You peruse all the many and varied channels on the TV and settle down to watch an action film.
The Reality: WHAT'S THE WIFI CODE? (sound of children screaming) THE CODE! WHAT IS THE CODE? HOW DO I PUT THE WIFI ON!!! (sound of children fighting) FOR GODS SAKE WHERE IS THE CODE? And why is the tele only blaring out CNN? Sob.

Wifi is on. Peace at last...

Sleeping Arrangements (Part 1):
The Dream: Two large double beds. One where they kids will snuggle up to each other and drift off happy about their day's adventures or looking forward to the excitement of tomorrow. You will pull out a small bottle of bubbly from the handy fridge and settle in for the evening to watch romantic comedy. A bit of 'you' time.
The Reality: WHY ARE THEY RUNNING AROUND LIKE PSYCHOS? STOP FIGHTING OVER THE TABLET? GET TO BED!* (*it soon becomes clear one parent is forced to sleep with one child, the other with another child in the dwarf beds, neither child will sleep, until the tele is off, which is at 8pm).

Sleeping Arrangements (Part 2):
The Dream: You manage to quietly whisper to each other, watching your darlings sleep and finally you both drift off at 10:30pm looking forward to a hearty breakfast tomorrow.
The Reality: Mmmmm sleeping at 8pm is a bit weird isn't it? You quietly tip toe to the bathroom, you stub your foot on the buggy and whisper shout "SH*T!". Whilst your husband whisper shouts "SHUT THE F*CK UP!". You spend the next hour sitting on the cold tiled floor miserably looking on Facebook, using up all your 4G as YOU STILL CAN'T DO THE BLOODY WIFI.

"I've had a wicked sleep! Bar the bits where I cried, fell out of the bed and smashed you in the face"

Morning!:
The Dream: The joy of a lie in. You all wake up fresh as daisies ready to tuck into a gorgeous breakfast. Sad to leave the hotel behind. But happy to move onto the next adventure.
The Reality: Up at 5am at the very latest. After a night of bed hopping, elbows in faces, stinking nappies up noses and someone falling out of the bed every three seconds. You go to breakfast like a zombie. And glare at your husband secretly blaming him for no good reason as he eats 37 sausages and gorges on 12 hash browns...

...never ever again.

19 comments:

  1. 37 sausages and gorges on 12 hash browns? We're not married to the same man are we?!

    Love this, Emma. Telly off and trying to sleep at 8pm SUCKS!

    Jenna at Tinyfootsteps xx

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    1. My man EATS SO SO SO SO SO MUCH!!!! It drives me mental! x

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  2. Brilliant post - LOVE it! And all, sadly, so true! Even when we stay in a cottage / chalet my pair are apparently incapable of going to sleep in the same room. Last time we got them to share my boy just stood crying in the travel cot, while his big sister sat there in bed with her hands over her ears, yelling at him to shut up and go to sleep! Was priceless. Fab post x

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    1. It is an utter nightmare. We have a hotel stay in a few weeks and then a week in Butlins. I shall not sleep for nine days. Fact x

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  3. Ha ha, this is SO true. We spent many a lovely evening sat in the bathroom waiting for the kids to go to sleep. I'm usually awake at about 3.30, hovering around the bit of room that has the tiniest bit of Wifi signal.

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    1. Ha ha ha! Same here. GOD LOVES WIFI! x

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  4. Ha Ha! So funny and so true. Who can sleep at 8pm. We usually end up sitting in the dark tooo. Really thrilling!!!

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    1. One wonders why we don't all just stay in our own houses! x

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  5. This post made me howl! I am SO glad it isn't just me that freaking hates hotels with kiddies! xx

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  6. I'm going to have the equivalent of this when we go camping (but likely with even less wifi despite what they say). We tried a sleep out practice, n refused to sleep after 2.5 hours and we had to give up. The trip is all mums with kids, in the hope the kids will go to sleep and we'll be able to chat/drink. Fat chance. I'll be going to bed at 8 and be listening to them all while I'm in the tent!

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  7. And this my friend, is how it remains for the rest of their childhood. Will we NEVER learn that taking kids to a hotel, whatever their age, is a total disaster! It did make me chuckle though :)

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  8. He,he! The joys of sharing a hotel room! x

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  9. hear you hear you....wrote similar one...the whispering and swearing!!! SOOOOOO TRUE


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  10. Hahaha, I love this! We stayed in a travel lodge last year and ended up putting Millie in her cot in the bathroom just so we could stay awake past 7:30 - we had to go down to reception to use the toilet after that obviously but it was SO worth while hahaha! xxx

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  11. Oh noooo. I've just read this and we'll be staying in a 'family room' with a 2 year old on Thursday.. might book another room for me and let hubby sort out our daughter lol!

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  12. Oh no I haven't dared take my girl on a holiday yet... I was about to book one! Argh! Any tips?!

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  13. Oh i shouldn't have read this! We've just booked two nights in a hotel with our toddler at the end of May because we've been invited to a christening down south....at least it'll give me some blogging fodder I guess!

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  14. How big is that bed??? We booked a lovely connecting room when we went on holiday this time and everyone ended up sleeping in the same big bed for half the holiday. We should have just saved our money!

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