Monday, 19 September 2016

Never Feel Embarrassed With Me My Love

Dear beautiful girl

You are now 5 and in Year 1. Your first tooth fell out last week and yesterday you asked me "what happens in the afterlife?" (I nearly choked on my tea). You got a headteachers sticker today for writing. Earlier you did a pose and said "this is my teenagers movement" and did a huge cackle with a funny tooth missing smile. You are bright, you are amazing and you are hilarious. But you are also growing up and with that comes the realisation of a world is not all that it once seemed.

When you were small you were the first toddler to be up at a party dancing. You often would be found on our front door belting out a Disney Princess song and happily would have me do a funny walk down the street pretending to be a monster/chicken/whatever weird thing you wanted me to be. But today for the first time you said you felt "embarrassed". That you watched a video of you singing Annie on your Dad's phone and it made you want to close your eyes and cover your ears. It was embarrassing.


"But you're amazing and beautiful" I exclaimed. "No Mummy it's embarrassing". I was baffled. I couldn't get my head around the fact that this marvellous creature could ever feel embarrassed. As to me you are perfection. There is not one hair on your head, not one silly dance move, not one daft sentence. There is nothing that you should ever feel embarrassed about. Around me? Everyday you do something more to make me love you. To make me wonder how I managed to create such an beautiful human being.

I worry that this is the first of many not so nice feelings you will get. Rejection when you fall out with friends. Worry over exams. Anger when I won't let you stay out late. And heartbreak over a spotty teen I will want to kill with my bare hands. It's so sad that you can't live in the world where you happily will dance and sing in your pants to the neighbours and then give a quick flash of your bum before falling over in hysterics.

But just as I was here to help you to walk and talk, to read and write, I will be there to encourage you. To make you understand for however much your feel embarrassed by your actions I will feel double the amount of love. For every time you fall out with your friends I will be there by your side to listen and cuddle you. I'll help you revise. And I will say "I knew he was a moron" when you get dumped (and then inevitably get back together and I will have to swiftly backtrack). You are my girl. My best friend. I will NEVER be embarrassed by you. However I can't promise you won't be embarrassed by me. Especially when I greet your first boyfriend by doing my chicken walk.

Love You

Mummy xxx

8 comments:

  1. Oh Emma this is so lovely but made me feel a bit weepy too! I wonder if we will feel the same about our sons as we do our little girls? xx

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  2. Aw, that is so lovely. I've been through a lot of this with my girls already and it's tough. You want to take it all away to make it better, but the reality is you can't, you just have to love and support them through it. Your gorgeous little girl is so blessed to have such a wonderful mummy and yes, of course you must be an embarrassing parent, it's virtually the law ;-) x

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  3. Just beautiful. My eldest is the same age and I totally agree, be silly with me I tell her, she's my best friend and that's what best friends are for! X

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  4. Lovely post. Makes me want to hold on to my 3 year old and not want him to grow up! But you are right, they will ALWAYS remain our 'little' ones, no matter how old they are!

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  5. So perfect! I was just thinking the other day how lovely it is that my little boy (3) loves to sing and dance and has no concept of shame or embarrassment about it! I know it won't always be so. His great love is Tom Jones! (Like a little Carlton from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air!) X

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  6. Lovely post. My daughter has just turned 6 and hasn't got to the self conscious stage yet. I really feel for them as they stop doing things they like to do for fear of what others think. Here's to raising confident happy girls ��

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  7. Oh Emma darn it you made me tear up in the coffee shop. What a beautiful post to your little girl and to all little girls and moms around the world. Love the way you write hun.

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