Monday, 25 September 2017

Bloody Hell. I'm A Mum!

I have realised something recently. It has dawned on me that I am a Mum. Now bear with. Obviously I have been a Mum for a fair old while. I did the whole giving birth thing. As well as, you know, the weaning and the getting them to walk and sleep through the night. We've also checked off talking, starting nursery and counting to ten. But now with my two at school. I feel like a proper Mum. You  know the Mum that you remember your Mum being like.

Today I had to prepare for my two to take to school; one violin, two Harvest Festival parcels, two flu jab forms, a parents evening reply slip, water bottles and bags. Before we left the house I had to label a new school jumper. When we got back in I had to tackle two and ten times tables, sort out clean clothes for Rainbows and shove sheets in the wash. And to me, these things are proper Mum (and Dad) jobs. They are the things I remember so clearly my parents doing.

You don't really remember anything from the baby years do you. I suppose you are crapping and eating too much to really focus on anything. But then as you get older that's when the memories set in. Hazy shots of your Mum making an Easter bonnet, egging you on from the sidelines at Sports Days. That feeling of worry about parents evening coming around and the happiness when your parents told you that they were proud. Those things stick with you. Family picnics, afternoons in the zoo, daft traditions that you thought every household did till your grow up and realise? That it was just yours.

I worried a lot about having no kids at home. I worried that I had done my job. I actually said to my husband in rather (another) melodramatic moment "THEY WON'T NEED ME ANNNNYYYYMORE". Having a little cry sniffing baby gros and holding tight onto first teddys. But if anything? I'm even more of a Mum than I was before. I get to miss my kids, I get to plan weekends of fun rather than seeing it as another two days to try and occupy insane toddlers. I get to make kick ass picnics and sit down and help out with homework projects.

I'm a proper Mum. I've got Harvest Festival this week as well as parents evening. I need to make sure my kids don't look tramps for their school photos as well as somehow gaining the ability to sew and put Rainbows badges on a top. Each morning I do a little pep talk about how to behave at school and I can sense them rolling their eyes in the back of the car. But I can't wait for them to laugh about it when they are older "do you remember that sh*t speech Mum made every day?" "Yeah God that was embarrassing and crap wasn't it?". I don't care if they laugh about it, I don't care if they think it's crap. As long as they remember me just the way I am right now. That would make me very happy indeed.


  1. Aww what a lovely post Emma. I know what you mean. I bet it’s because this is the first stuff we really remember. We don’t really remember much younger than 5 but those early years of primary school are full of memories. When my 5 year old started school I said, we’ve got to do a good job now as he’ll remember this! I’ve one in year 1 and a 2 year old and I’m knackered!

  2. I totally get this! Being a mum of school age kids is different from being a mum to babies and toddlers, but it feels very real! And they still need you, even at the age my lot are now.
    I turned 44 the other day and I had a horrible realisation that I could clearly remember my mum at 44 and it didn't even seem that long ago. She was 44 when I started university! Where did that time go?

  3. My youngest just started school too and this post made me feel a lot better about it thanks 😊

  4. Yes! I completely relate! Honestly I still freak out about it when I dwell on being a mum too much. How do I have a nearly 10 year old and a 7 year old when I don't even feel like a proper grown up let alone a mum! xx


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