To my beautiful girl
You are currently seven and a half. Your feet are close to a size two grown up size. Your front teeth look a little bit big for your face. And your limbs are long and bony. When Daddy carries you up to bed I can't believe how big you look in his arms. But when I creep in your room before I go to sleep and see you lying in bed, a Stitch toy in one hand and your bum hanging out of the duvet. I'm reminded you are still my gorgeous little girl.
Recently you seem torn between being my baby and hurtling towards being a tween. In one moment you may sob for me as you have bumped your knee and want a cuddle. The next you are screaming "IT'S NOT FAIR" and stomp up the stairs before you slam your bedroom door loudly. Sometimes I never quite know which child I am going to be greeted with when you wake from your slumber. Occasionally your moods catch me off guard and I shout at you a bit louder and for a bit longer than I want to. As I'm just as confused as you by what's going on in your head.
Growing up is bringing plenty of wonderful things though. Afternoons lazing in bed chatting about everything and anything. Asking you if you like what I'm wearing and you are always ready to go shopping with me at the drop of the hat. I love sitting with you working on homework projects and now can sing all the songs on Capital FM as you insist we have it blaring on the school run. Sometimes though. Sometimes I catch a glimpse of something I've not seen before.
A tiny bit of embarrassment. You recently asked me to stop screaming on a ride as I was shouting with glee so loudly. Occasionally I cry when I'm really happy and I can see you out of the corner of my eye thinking "here she goes again". You can get cross quickly. And things like me brushing your hair or daring to ask you to brush your teeth can result in a row of epic proportions. Making those sleepless baby days seem like a walk in the park.
What I want you to know is this. Whether you're mortified as I'm trying to floss in the street. Or fuming with me as I'm asking you to wear a school jumper. When I look at you I see a baby. A baby girl that would scream with glee when I walked in the room. Would greet me with a toothy grin each morning when you woke. Those long limbs and huge feet were once tucked up inside me and I'm trying to get used to you distancing yourself a little bit. Whilst I can't promise I won't eternally embarrass you. I can promise I will eternally love you.