Thursday, 13 December 2018

The Mum That Doesn't Bake.

Every year I buy my children's birthday cake. My really good friend Mr Asda bakes them whatever the hell they want! We have had Disney Princess cakes, Spiderman cakes and last week I picked up a particularly nice rainbow affair. And every single year, without fail, as I take it to the till I think "F*ck. I really should be baking this shouldn't I?". EVERY year. Twice a year, oh and the bake sales at school and at Brownies. Let's not forget them. It's only for a moment, then I get my act together and carry on with my day. But there is something deep in me that thinks "good Mums bake cakes".

A lot of my friends on social media bake. I see instagrams of them lovingly making some rainbow cake. Or you know those dead fancy ones where you cut into it and sweets pour out like something from Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory. I read the odd tweet stating "Up at 11pm and still making my sons Paw Patrol cake!" and I think "oh that's love that is, that's real commitment". I am yet to tweet "Went to Asda at 9:15am and left at 9:20am with a Shopkins cake and a Crunchie for me". It doesn't really have the same effect does it. Doesn't really show love. Shows a bit of a 'must try harder' element to parenting.


I'm much the same with World Book Day and Nativity outfits. And good god you would HOWL if you saw our Easter bonnet efforts. I can promise you this though. My other half has never ever felt one jot of guilt about not baking a cake or making a Mary outfit from scratch. In fact sometimes the cake is as much as a surprise to him when he's bringing it out full of candles as it is to my kids. This doesn't make me mad. It makes me jealous. I wish I could just think "F*ck it. It's only a bloody cake. Who cares".


Part of the problem is that if I put my mind to baking a cake I could. I mean it would probably be bloody awful but I could spend five hours making a creation if I really wanted to. But (whispers) I just don't want to. Is that bad? My husband doesn't want to either but no one expects him to produce a five tiered Paw Patrol masterpiece. My friends who produce cakes like this are heroes. I gasp with everyone else. And marvel at how much of a good Mum they are. But that doesn't make me a bad Mum. It just makes me a person who doesn't like baking.


I am REALLY good at other things. Homework projects? BOOM I. Am. On. It. I am really, really good fun. My house is generally tidy and not going to lie I give amazing cuddles. I am just sh*t at baking. And crafts. When my children are older I hope these weird outdated stereotypes have moved on. I hope my son is in charge of birthday parties. I hope my daughter swans into the nearest Sainsburys and picks up a Barbie cake for her child with NO sh*ts given. Until then. At least four times a year I will feel a bit of a crap Mother standing in the shopping aisle of Asda, a birthday cake in one hand and a Crunchie to eat away my guilt in the other.
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2 comments

  1. But don't they look lovely. I can bake and enjoy doing it. However, I have never made my children's birthday cakes. Too much pressure. Not enough time. Nope importantly I am keeping another person in a job. Surely with the uncertainty of our country and it's financial chaos, to keep small businesses afloat is vital. Anyway. Well said Emma. Can't wait for next year's cake instalment.

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  2. This is so me, I'm good at eating cake but not very good at making them! Someone asked me the other day "do you bake?"....erm, no?! Fairy cakes at a push but certainly not a birthday cake - thats what asda is for ;)

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