Monday, 21 May 2018

10 Rules Of Packing For Holidays

1) All packing must be done by the mother and the mother alone. This is an unwritten rule. No-one really knows why this rule exists but for some reason IT IS A RULE (FFS).

2) You will not be able to find one of your suitcases for some reason. You can't remember where you stored the missing suitcase but this will certainly be the suitcase that holds the important things like travel plugs, or the travel iron (never to be used) or just stuff you f*cking well need.

3) When you find most of your suitcases they appear to be smaller than they were last year which means you have to rethink exactly what you will pack. Can your whole family live with no shoes for a fortnight maybe?

Packing For Holidays

4) Travelling abroad somewhere nice and hot and luxurious? Your packing will be easier and consist of your nice light summer wardrobe for the kids and maybe a brolly to be on the safe side. As the Mum? You of course end up making do with your leggings and a flowery frock you wore pre-kids whilst they trot around in Boden and Joules.

5) Travelling to somewhere in the UK? YOU ARE SCREWED! You have to scrounge around your house to locate and pack for four different humans - sun hats, scarves, sun tan lotion, wellies, summer dress, cardigans, jelly shoes, rain mac...and so on...anyone seen the kids gloves?

6) Half way through packing you realise that this is the most disheartening of jobs you never signed up for. So you hide in the bedroom watching Netflix pretending you are packing. Whenever anyone walks in your quickly pick up a jelly shoe and look like you're doing something important.

7) You start to cry a bit.

Packing For Holidays

8) Packing recommences with renewed vigour! You ensure each child has an outfit for every day, then one to go out on the night with, then one in case someone (will) poo, vom, then a set of pyjamas for each day. So that's four outfits, per child, per day. You realise you won't be taking any clothes for yourself on this holiday. Bar the leggings natch.

9) Packing is done! You have replaced the missing lost case with a ruck sack full of wellies, Uggs, gladiator sandals and mock crocs.

10) You begin to unpack at your chosen destination (another bloody unwritten rule) - you forgot your husband's underwear. He shouts at you. You have a small giggle and suggests he thinks about rewriting rule number 1.
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4 comments

  1. Hilarious. And the husband has the audacity to give you that look too. "You forgot the...". Like when did you EVER pack for two small children? Also self catering. Basics then do a shop nearby where we're staying turns into empty the fridge, fruit bowl, take random tins (That you will inevitably bring home after the hol) and try to find plastic containers for half eaten or left over food rather than bin it. Best of British Emma. I'm sure this will be me in the summer holidays!

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  2. You missed off - rule 11. No matter how smugly prepared you think you are you will still be frantically trying to wash dry and iron something at midnight when you are due to fly in about four hours time. Every blumming time! Even when I buy all new still you can guarantee the husband decides the week before you go is the perfect time to wear it!!
    I’m doing our first holiday with a child this time (7 month old) in just under two weeks and I’m dreading it. How do you pack the kitchen sink with 15kgs???

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  3. lol Love it, you think thats bad, try packing for nine! I swear I need to take an extra car just to fit all of the luggage in, and just to make it more interesting, we now have a giant Newfoundland puppy to fit in too

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  4. This could not be more accurate or hilarious. Packing for a holiday can be extremely stressful. You'd think that having someone help would increase efficiency, when it actually makes things more stressful! That's what I always say, leave the packing to Mum only! (Even if that means I need to hide under my covers for a few hours)

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