Thursday, 6 April 2017

10 Rules Of Packing For Holidays

1) All packing must be done by the mother and the mother alone. This is an unwritten rule. No-one really knows why this rule exists but for some reason IT IS A RULE (FFS).

2) You will not be able to find one of your suitcases for some reason. You can't remember where you stored the missing suitcase but this will certainly be the suitcase that holds the important things like travel plugs, or the travel iron (never to be used) or just stuff you f*cking well need.

3) When you find most of your suitcases they appear to be smaller than they were last year which means you have to rethink exactly what you will pack. Can your whole family live with no shoes for a fortnight maybe?

Packing For Holidays

4) Travelling abroad somewhere nice and hot and luxurious? Your packing will be easier and consist of your nice light summer wardrobe for the kids and maybe a brolly to be on the safe side. As the Mum? You of course end up making do with your leggings and a flowery frock you wore pre-kids whilst they trot around in Boden and Joules.

5) Travelling to somewhere in the UK? YOU ARE SCREWED! You have to scrounge around your house to locate and pack for four different humans - sun hats, scarves, sun tan lotion, wellies, summer dress, cardigans, jelly shoes, rain mac...and so on...anyone seen the kids gloves?

6) Half way through packing you realise that this is the most disheartening of jobs you never signed up for and you hide in the bedroom watching Homes Under the Hammer pretending you are packing.

7) You start to cry a bit.

Packing For Holidays

8) Packing recommences with renewed vigour! You ensure each child has an outfit for every day, then one to go out on the night with, then one in case someone (will) poo, vom, then a set of pyjamas for each day. So that's four outfits, per child, per day. You realise you won't be taking any clothes for yourself on this holiday. Bar the leggings natch.

9) Packing is done! You have replaced the missing lost case with a ruck sack full of wellies, Uggs, gladiator sandals and mock crocs.

10) You begin to unpack at your chosen destination (another bloody unwritten rule) - you forgot your husband's underwear. He shouts at you. You have a small giggle and suggests he thinks about rewriting rule number 1.


  1. So glad it's not just me who finds packing stressful! Nodded along to each of ghese! Xx

  2. My husband actually hates the way I pack. He insists on space efficiency even when it defies all practicality. When we packed for our honeymoon 10 years ago, he took my makeup bag out of the suitcase and dumped all of my makeup out of it and back into the suitcase. He reasoned that it took up less space without the makeup bag. I looked at him with evil eyes and deadpanned, "Don't ever touch my makeup again. We're taking the bag."

  3. Standard! Oh and does your husband go out for the day doing mates stuff just before you're going? Or is that just mine? We had baby number 3 last month and this year we are going on holiday, so as you can imagine it's going to be busy. So of course only my husband can be booked in to not one but two 'work trips'. So whilst he flies out to Switzerland to ride erm I mean test out new bikes and then go from there straight to Milan to test more bleeding bikes, I'm left packing for 2 kids and a baby,oh and will be left to sort the 2 dogs out too ffs!!! He'll be back the night before we leave apparently. Oh and this is all happening the last week of school too one of the busiest present buying faffing around weeks of the ruddy school calander!

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  5. Yay for this awesome blog! Thanks for keeping it REAL.

  6. You need a holiday after packing for a holiday and then you need another one when you return and have to do all the washing.


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