Thursday, 2 June 2016

It's Possible To Have Fun When You Have A 'Mum Tum'

I am an English rose. I like to think that I am pale and interesting like Nicole Kidman. But by English rose I mean I burn within three seconds of being in the sun. Or I get heat rash. Or sunstroke. Or a truly beautiful, vomit inducing combination of all three. I have talked a bit before about body confidence and how I'm not totally in love with the way I look. And I find that during holiday times it can become even more of an issue. Sure you're OK when you are at a gloomy British seaside resort where you can still hide in jeggings and a fancy smock top but when you are abroad? And the colour of a lobster? It can make you feel even more of a mumsy frump.

I am currently in beautiful Lanzarote. In a gorgeous hotel with a whole host of stunning European women. Athletic German Mums, stylish Spanish Mums and for the first few days I found it a bit overwhelming. Don't get me wrong. This isn't a "woe is me I am chubby due to a myriad of different reasons". This is a "woe is me why can't I just get my sh*t together and try and lose a bit of weight so I don't have to cover myself up in a Primark aztec beach dress at all times".

So I've avoided the pool. I've sat by the pool. I've lounged around in five different beach dresses. I've sweated my tits off in BHS all in one swimming cossies. Watching my two frolic about in the pool with their Dad. Cross with myself. Cursing my gene pool which means that the only tan I get is the bronzer I cover my face in and trying to hide the ruddy red rash gleaming from my chest. But today? I had a change of heart. I was all set to have another day around the pool, dozing in the shade and it dawned on me that my daughter didn't ask if I would go in the pool today.

She didn't bother splashing me when I walked past her in the shallow end. And she didn't try and aim her water pistol at me. And I thought "F*ck. I'm the 'mum who won't go in the pool'". The one she will moan about when she is older and tell her kids "Oh my Mum would never go in the water". And that bothered me a million more times that what people thought of my red raw chest, my bottle white knees and my wobbly ass. So? I got in the pool.

I didn't dive in. I didn't run around and scream whilst bombing it down the slides. But I got in. And we had a glorious 45 minutes playing. She was so happy I was there she went down the slide ten times in a row so I could cheer when she was at the bottom. She played catch with me. She laughed with me and? She splashed me. As I had become the Mum that did go in the pool. And whilst I knew I didn't look like J-Lo and my ass has more dimples in it that is necessary. Not one person vomited when I got in. Not one man covered his and eyes and screamed "GOOD GOD LOOK AT HER!". As no-one really cares about the way I look bar me. So whilst I try and work out how to get to grips with my body, I am going to go in the pool a bit more. Hell I may even brave the slide tomorrow.


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  2. Ahh! Good on you! We are our own worst enemies sometimes!
    Keep on having a great time...

  3. Hope you are enjoying your holiday, so pleased you got in - I feel exactly the same but now I think what the hell, I'm a mum now who cares what I look like haha :D

  4. Yay, good for you. I've recently started swimming again and was really worried about being seen in my costume but I realised, after a couple of sessions, that no one else was bothered about me - in fact no one even looked at me (which was disappointing as I was all ready to give them The Stare). Enjoy the slide!

  5. Ehh...slightly emotional reading that!! So so happy for you that you got in with your daughter. She won't remember your wobbly bits but she will remember that holiday where Mummy got in the pool! X

  6. A very entertaining read but above all else? Go you! I think us women so need to get over ourselves. No one is even looking anyway, we're too old for all that lol! Of course that's easier said than done, I know. But what a day. That's fab. Please post a video of you bombing...

  7. Well done you, I'm a mum of 4 under 10 I'm happy with my size 10-12 but it's all the lumps and bumps & my lovely mummy tum it just won't dissappear but I am starting to realise who cares it's obviously the way I'm meant to be a lumpy & bumpy! Thankyou for your posts there fab. X


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