Wednesday, 4 January 2017

Now You Are Four. A Baby No More

To my beautiful boy

Today you are four! FOUR! Four means school. Four means leaving me and going out into the big wide world. When your big sister was four it didn't seem so bad. As I had you. My baby boy. You were two and four seemed so far away. But now you're here and I can't quite believe it. Chances are you are the last child we will have in our little family. No more nappies. No more potties or teeny tiny baby gros. This birthday symbolises more to me than just you growing up. It symbolises me no longer having a baby. You're a big boy now.

I will always feel a little sorry for my baby number two. You never ever had the one on one attention your sister had. You've always had to share me. When you were tiny you had to compete with a tantruming sibling. You've always done things second which sometimes mean they don't get the attention they deserve. But being second? Also means you get to do the good stuff far sooner than your sister. Chocolate, soft play and riding around Thomas Land before you could walk. You've never known what it feels like to be alone which can only be a good thing.

You're funny. Like proper funny. You sometimes run in a room with pants on your head singing a "Booby Song" and make me cry with laughter with your dancing. You also fib a bit. Nothing major but the odd white lie here and there to keep me on my toes. All the things that naughty toddlers should have done? You did it. Drawing on walls, scribbling on my coat and blaming the dog when a present mysteriously got unwrapped under the Christmas tree. Sometimes I have to hold my breath and walk away as I want to laugh so much when I'm telling you off.

You love me in a different way to my girl. There's cuddles and kisses. There's hugs and climbing all over me. Sometimes you lick me and I love nothing more than nibbling your feet. Which I am sure will change as you turn into a teenage boy. You talk NON STOP. Which is something you've picked up from me but you don't mind not being liked. You're happy in yourself and are stubborn to the point of maddening.

My boy you are four. So big. But still so little. It maybe as you're the youngest. But when I look at you I still see a tiny baby. With your button nose and rosebud lips. Your big blue eyes and little toes. You wear a onesie to bed and if I squint a bit and sniff your head? It's as if you're back to being a few months old in a baby gro. So while my womb aches for another I'm excited for our last few months together before school. We are going to have SO much fun. And even though I won't nibble you feet when you're 15. You will always be my youngest, my baby, my beautiful boy.

Love Your Mummy xxx



  1. What a lovely post! It's amazing how quickly the time goes between 2 and 4!
    My daughter is nearly 11, but she's still my baby and she still looks like a baby when she's asleep. I stroke my 13yo son's feet, even though they're bigger than mine. They're still so soft! I wouldn't nibble them though, I don't think he'd be very happy about that!

  2. Aww! How lovely. This really made me smile. He sounds such a character!
    I hope your boy has a very happy birthday x

  3. Ah, and now I am crying. I feel exactly the same about my 4yo, as you know. I hope your beautiful, funny boy has had a wonderful birthday xx

  4. So lovely. My youngest was 4 just before Christmas (eldest is 6 this weekend) & her birthday made me sadder than any other. His 4th birthday was exciting and full of new adventures, hers is the end of an era and things changing and life rushing past. Would they all just stop growing up so fast?!

  5. My boy just turned four too so I can completely relate! I still half-heartedly attempt to sing rock-a-bye-baby to him with him in my arms, unfortunately I've never got past the first line before he's wriggled away...

  6. Happy birthday!!!! Yes i am going through some of this tomorrow as my son turns 4. However he is my eldest but still the thought of school a real big boy stuff scares the living shit out of me! I still have a baby my other son is 1 but my my it seems like 5 minutes ago i had my eldest. So much has happened in his 4 little years and i couldnt be prouder...... your son is hilarious a proper little boy hes gorgeous!

  7. I too am dreading four. My little cutie pie is fast becoming a little man - hilarious, thrilling and endlessly entertaining running up the landing like a Sumo wrestler, wanting me to pants on his head so he can have hysterics at himself in the mirror and then crawling out of bed to wimper at the top of the stairs because he thinks the dinosaurs are coming and he needs his mummy.

    You put the love, the joy and the sadness so beautifully, we all feel it.


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