16.4.20

So It Looks Like You're Off To School...

(A little vintage post written when I got the letter about my youngest going to school...sob)

Dear Beautiful Boy

Today I got the email I had been avoiding thinking about. The one that says you are leaving me. The one that says that as of September you are no longer mine but you are are going off out into the big wide world. You are off to school. When I wrote a similar letter to your big sister two years ago it didn't hurt quite so much as I had you. You were there to fill my days with giggles and cuddles. You were there to snuggle in front of the tele with me. Go on adventures to parks or pop to Poundland for treats your sister didn't know about. But now you're off too.

starting school

I never dreamt that I would have a boy. We are a family of girls. I only knew how sisters worked. I went to an all girls school. Boys have always been somewhat of a mystery to me so when I knew you were coming along I wondered how I would cope. But? You have been a delight. You love hard. Your cuddles can knock me over. Your kisses are sloppy and when you get cross? You lash out in a way that sometimes I have found difficult to understand. But somehow we muddle through it and get back to the hard hugs and wet pecks on the cheek.

back to school

I'm going to miss you my boy. More than you will ever know. You've been my shadow these past four years. You're different to your sister. Not quite as independent. Wary of strangers and always happy to watch from the sidelines. Behind closed doors? You are quite the showman. You dance, sing, run in a quiet room with a bra on your head shouting about boobies. Sometimes when I am washing up I will take a peek through the crack in the door and see you putting on a show for an empty couch. The house will seem quiet without you around.

starting school

I once heard you telling your sister that you love it when you're poorly. That when you are poorly it is great as "Mummy brings you all the best treats all day and gives you loads of cuddles". That's all you want from life. Me. All day every day. At your beckon call. Which isn't always possible when there's work to finish, vacuuming to be done. There's been times when I haven't been able to re-read your favourite nursery rhyme book with you. Or endlessly chat about who is better Thor or Iron Man.

starting school

But? With only one term left of your delightful company I have decided that from now on. The vacuuming can wait a bit. I'll work when you are asleep. I want to soak up every single bit of your amazing personality. I want to watch every single show you put on. Lie on the couch with you on top of me and chat about dinosaurs. This term is for us. Me and you. From September I will be alone but I know you will be fine. You will grow in the most extraordinary ways. Just like your sister has. And I'm excited to see what's next. If not a little worried I will be ever so lonely without you.

Love you forever

Mummy xxx
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