Wednesday, 6 December 2017

The Mum That Doesn't Bake

Every year I buy my children's birthday cake. My really good friend Mr Asda bakes them whatever the hell they want! We have had Disney Princess cakes, Spiderman cakes and today I picked up a particularly nice unicorn affair. And every single year, without fail, as I take it to the till I think "F*ck. I really should be baking this shouldn't I?". EVERY year. Twice a year, oh and the bake sales at school and at Rainbows. Let's not forget them. It's only for a moment, then I get my act together and carry on with my day. But there is something deep in me that thinks "good Mums bake cakes".

A lot of my friends on social media do bake. I see instagrams of them lovingly making some rainbow cake. Or you know those dead fancy ones where you cut into it and sweets pour out like something from Willy Wonka's. I read the odd tweet stating "Up at 11pm and still making my sons Paw Patrol cake" and I think "oh that's love that is, that's real commitment". I am yet to tweet "Went to Asda at 9:15am and left at 9:20am with a Shopkins cake". It doesn't really have the same effect does it? Doesn't really show love. Shows a bit of a 'must try harder' element to parenting.

I'm much the same with World Book Day and Nativity outfits. And good god you would HOWL if you saw our Easter bonnet efforts. I can promise you this though. My other half has never ever felt one jot of guilt about not baking a cake or making a Mary outfit from scratch. In fact sometimes the cake is as much as a surprise to him when he's bringing it out full of candles as it is to my kids. This doesn't make me mad. It makes me jealous. I wish I could just think "F*ck it. It's a bloody cake".

Part of the problem is that if I put my mind to baking a cake I could. I mean it would probably be bloody awful but I could spend five hours making a creation. But (whispers) I just don't want to. Is that bad? My husband doesn't want to either but no one expects him to produce a five tiered Paw Patrol masterpiece. My friends who produce cakes like this are heroes. I gasp with everyone else. And marvel at how much of a good Mum they are. But that doesn't make me a bad Mum.

I am REALLY good at other things. Homework projects? BOOM I. Am. On. It (my, I mean my six year olds, project on Judaism got a certificate #justsayin). I am really, really good fun. My house is generally tidy and not going to lie I give amazing cuddles. I am just sh*t at baking. And crafts. When my children are older I hope these weird outdated stereotypes have moved on. I hope my son is in charge of birthday parties. I hope my daughter swans into the nearest Sainsburys and picks up a Barbie cake for her chid with no sh*ts given. Until then. At least four times a year I will feel a bit of a crap Mother standing in the shopping aisle of Asda.


  1. Not baking a cake does NOT make you a bad mum in any sense of the word. I bake my kids cakes because I enjoy making them, and thankfully can pull a nice tasting one together. Kids remember what cake it was ie Paw Patrol, My Little Pony etc not who actually made the cake......

  2. I am a single Mum who works fulltime. You have to learn what really matters, and what’s for show. Kids having a sugary cake to stuff in their face on their birthday is important. Where it comes from? That’s just for the Facebook posts. I am very good at making up songs about poos and wees. Now that, my kids really appreciate!

  3. Totally with you here Emma and I think I can count on one hand the amount of times I have baked even packet fairy cakes with my kids. And they are 15 and 11 so well past the 'baking with mummy' stage. Anyway ALOT of time and effort goes into making the right choice for a supermarket cake, us non bakey mums rock x

  4. As a mom who sometimes chooses to bake , but usually opts to buy and a wife whose husband would also take up the task to buy or bake a cake I tell you you are awsome and you need to continue to do whatever makes you and your family happy! You rock!


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