Thursday, 16 August 2018

11 Things Every School Run Parent Needs To Know!

I've done posts in the past to prepare you for your little ones starting school. This is a different kind of post. What you need in the house to ensure YOU are prepared for school. I've been a school run Mum now for three years and have learnt some tricks of the trade to ensure I don't completely lose my sh*t. So here goes. And whatever you do...please take my advice...

1. Nit Lotion
I have put this first as simply it's the most terrifying thing your kiddos may get in reception. Alongside a nice dose of hand foot and mouth. You MUST have nit lotion tucked away or even better pop a preventative spray on their heads each week. We had our first outbreak around a month into school. I have NEVER seen my husband more shook. Put it on your list now. Go on. Do it. You can thank me later.

2. Calpol 
Alongside nits it is inevitable your children will pick up some gross germs as they have lovely small human immune systems. Mine have had everything from croup to chicken pox to hand foot and mouth. Get ALL the Calpol in the house and if they've not had chicken pox yet? They soon will so stock up on bicarbonate soda and gin (for you).

3. Fooking Bobbles
If your child wears bobbles you will go through approximately four thousand of the fookers term one. They go in wearing four. Come out wearing one...well a rubber band their teacher gave them. Every time you go to Poundland or Primark pop a pack in basket. Oh and also? Headbands will be lost and bows will get paint on them or brown stains. Poo or mud? Who knows!

4. Socks
I don't know what kids do in socks. Sometimes I wonder if their teachers say "NOW ALL TAKE YOUR SOCKS OFF AND JUST RUN AROUND IN MUD". Your five pack of socks is not going to last. And if you think 3 pairs of tights is going to cut it? WRONG. Get 10. The gusset will be round their knees by October 1st.

5. Uniform
So you think three sets of uniform is enough? WRONG! Get five. Oh and don't forget a spare jumper as they will lose one, get permanent marker on two and one will be replaced with a jumper you have never seen before two sizes too small. Or big.

I draw a line at getting their name tattooed on their face but everything else MUST be labelled. Vests, t shirts, shoes (I mean who can pick up the wrong shoes? My children can). If it doesn't move label it. And I still promise you will lose something never to be returned.

7. Homework
NEVER LEAVE HOMEWORK TO THE NIGHT BEFORE. Ever. Don't do it to yourself. My daughter loved homework. It twas a breeze. We used to sit down and bond over it. My little boy. HATES IT. So it becomes a three day epic chore of patience from me and anger from him. If I left it to the night before. Let's just say? It would never EVER get done.

8. Check Dat Bag
Now the school bag is a mysterious thing. Sometimes it has these little bits of paper in. Letters. They are called letters. Whilst the whole world deals in emails. You know for the environment and sh*t. Schools deal with letters. And sometimes you don't check and you turn up and don't realise it's St Andrews day and everyone is in blue or that it's 'Wear A Silly Hat' day and your kid is sobbing whilst you mournfully say "Oh bab I forgot to check the bag".

9. Forget Style
If you work in an office I would advise you do the school run in a nice pair of trainers and change when you get to work. There is nothing more terrifying than a Mum in heels trying to catch a four year old on an ice filled playground. Stay/Work at home Mums. Get clothes as close to pyjamas but are not pyjamas as humanly possible. Leggings, smock tops, big coats. A coat with a hood on is essential. There's a fine line between boho chic and hobo sh*t. Try not to cross it.

You will be attending all the parties in the whole world. But you won't be able to drink and sometimes they will smell of gross ball pools. So in the house buy a stack of cards and presents (Home Bargains is great for this). This way you will be prepared and not have to buy a card, present, paper, sellotape and biro on the way to the party. Been there. Done that. And had the row with my husband to prove it.

11. Prepare Your Heart
You will have the MOST magical year when your child is in reception. You will see nativities and cry, there will be that one day they claim everyone hates them and you will want to kill the whole class, but then within 24 hours it's fine. They will bring out art you think is terrible but will keep forever and they will write 'I Love Mummy' on a note and you will weep and probably put it in a frame. Enjoy the ride...but most importantly...don't forget the nit lotion. Right?!


  1. I Loooooved this! My boy is starting year 1 in September and I don't know what to do with myself. Somehow throughout the whole year of reception, he avoided nits!! I feel they will come with a vengeance this year ��

  2. Nitbuster comb and cheap conditioner. My lovely friendly daughter has had them at least once every year and she's just heading to high school!

  3. Amen to all of this! Apart from I had the only daughter in the world who needed one dress, one blouse and one cardigan right from the word go. She never got dirty! We made it through three years of school with my eldest with no nits, then my younger son got them IN THE FIRST WEEK OF RECEPTION. To be honest, they pretty much took up permanent residence in our house until he left primary school. We rarely made it through more than a term without them.

  4. Haha so true! I thought this was just my home. My kids also have an ability to need vital uniform replacing two weeks before the summer holidays. This year my middle needed a new tie £9, hellh never wear it again because he's going to sixth form, no uniform. My youngest knackered his shoes a Week before they broke up, he scuffed them last day, so had to get new because we have to have them nice and shiny the first day of term!

  5. hahaha! I love this. It is all so true!
    I still keep a bottle of nit lotion in and a hidden pack of bobbles incase we run low. Where do they all go??
    hahaha! I have seen a woman in heels chasing after her child on the school run and I shouldn't have laughed but it was hilarous. Yes! Leggings and smock tops for the win! I have been known in the winter to keep my pj top on and just hide it under my coat.


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