Sunday, 1 January 2017

10 Things You Should NOT Beat Yourself Up Over In 2017

"Parenting is really super easy!" said no parent ever. When you aren't worrying about trying to get them to suck on your boob, you are fighting with your other half about whose turn it is to do the washing up. There are NEVER ENDING decisions about nursery places and the best after school clubs. This combined with the relentless f*cking guilt, can make you sit bolt upright in the middle of the night and have a little cry.

But fear not! I am here to give you '10 Things You Should NOT Beat Yourself Up Over In 2017'. Save your tears for a late night repeat episode of One Born Every Minute. This year shall be guilt free! And when you find yourself losing your sh*t? Have a nice cup of tea, a packet of Smarties and refer back to this list.

1) Food
Whilst we all know that breast is best and baby led weaning is the norm. You should feed your baby the way YOU see fit. As long as they are happy and healthy at the end of the day that is all that really matters.

2) Sleep
Babies don't start off by sleeping through the night. It is f*cking horrific, brain numbing and soul destroying but you must embrace it. And do not listen to that woman at the baby club who says that hers did after a month. She's fibbing.

Motherhood guilt
HE HAS A DUMMY QUICK CALL THE POLICE!

3) Dummies
We are all in agreement that dummies look? Well look a bit common. But if it means it soothes your tiny tot for half hour so you can all get some rest? Then shove it in and think no more about it.

4) Milestones
Children do things at different times. I kid you not my daughter couldn't jump till she was four and my son has a stammer. But those two beauties couldn't be any more perfect if they tried.

5) Hating Your Other Half
There is not a couple up and down the country that doesn't communicate through passive aggressive texts and angry emoticons for the first year. Friday nights are spent ignoring each other whilst you 'netflix and chill' (watching boxsets on the couch not sex obviously). It does get better. Eventually. Kinda.

6) Feeling A Bit Bored
Babies nap. A lot. Toddlers watch Peppa Pig. A lot. If you feel bored it doesn't mean that you hate your child. You just hate Peppa Pig. A lot #peppaisaknob

Mummy guilt
This wonderful lady is a 'Mum friend' we only looked this good. Once

7) Losing Friends
You've changed. And sometimes that means you may lose a few friends along the way. But you also make make new ones who are also totally and utterly exhausted and understand why you hate your husband.

8) Unsolicited Advice
People LOVE giving random baby advice. Whilst your first instinct is to smash them in the face. Hard. Just smile politely, walk away and totally ignore it. F*cking idiots.

9) Tantrums
Your toddler isn't the first kid to have a full breakdown in the magazine aisle in Asda. And certainly won't be the last. So ignore the shocked shoppers with their raised eyebrows and carry on with your
day.

Tantrums
Tantrum in the middle of a shopping centre #standard

10) Making Wrong Decisions
You suddenly have to make loads of decisions. From tiny ones like what their first shoes should be to big ones about immunisation and school places. The worry that you may mess it all up is strong. But take it from someone who has made the odd mistake here and there. You are making these choices with all the love in your heart and generally? It will always turn out for the best. Promise.

Mommy guilt
I love them so much I want to eat them for my tea. But not in a weird way.

6 comments:

  1. I once admitted to some other mums that I felt so so bored and they looked at me like i'd just pooed on the floor. It really stuck with me as I found those first days so difficult and wondered what was wrong with me, but I soon realised as time went on that it was a totally NORMAL feeling. Thank you for your awesome honest posts. PS we are on our 26th viewing of the cbeebies panto YAWN!

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  2. Thank you for no.10. I go back to work tomorrow after 10 months of maternity leave. I don't think either me or my little boy are ready (I expect this is an incredibly common feeling) but your words have helped the mum guilt ever so slightly. So thanks again!

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  3. God I needed to read this today - I am sooooo beating myself up over loads of things - it must be a mixture of a comedown after the festive period and PMT!!! 1, 9 and 10 are my big things at the mo... so good to see I'm not alone.... could you somehow make this a theme for a linky?! It's just I'm missing Wicked Wednesdays ;-). So pleased you look like you're much better after the op. Best wishes for 2017. xx

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  4. Great blog, so many people can relate to these....we know these things really but they get pushed to the back of our minds under the nappies, night feeds and tantrums. My kids are a little past this stage now 5, 10 and 15.....need to find similar reminders for older kids �� best wishes for 2017, glad your feeling much better x

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  5. You will help so many mums with this post

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  6. re point 10: You mean it is actually possible to make right decisions? Wow, how does that work?? Love the caption re the dummy! Alas, mum friends are think on the ground for a stay at home dad such as myself but c'est la vie.

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