Wednesday, 25 February 2015

The Don't Beat Yourself Up Guide to Me Time

Right let's start off straight away by all agreeing 'me time' sounds a bit w*nky. I am aware of this but I can't think of any other way of saying it. It sniffs to me of an advert for a flake where the woman is all groaning with pleasure in a giant bubble bath. So I will be using the phrase 'me time' but believe you me I will be internally groaning whilst doing so.

The thing about kids is when you have them. You like love them and stuff. Like really love them. Your life pre kids may have been full of reading Heat magazine whilst watching Big Brother, or nipping to the shops to buy a nice impractical pair of heels. You may have thought "sod it" and gone straight out from work with your mates, got rat arsed and danced to the Backstreet Boys in the worlds worst club. And then the next day you stayed in bed, eating pizza watching Gossip Girl. Life was simple. Choices were simple. You could pretty much do what you want. When you want.

'Me time' may involve the odd Pimms.
Then all of a sudden you have this cute teeny tiny thing depending on you. And for a good few months you do nothing but feed, burp, change, put them down for a nap and repeat. And that's brilliant. That is what you are supposed to do. But then the months pass. And you start to notice that you didn't know that Kourtney Kardashian was pregnant again. You remember your last clothes purchase was a pair of maternity leggings and the last film you saw was the very first Hunger Games. And this my friends is when...wait for it...'me time' (vom) becomes essential.

Let's get this straight a smear test is not 'me time', a shower is not 'me time', I will go as far as saying? A haircut is not 'me time'. And don't be conned into thinking "could you watch the kids for fifteen minutes whilst I put the washing away please" is 'me time'. It's not. These things are basic human rights. If in your foot loose and fancy free days you were told "oh by the way soon you will not leave the house for a week bar for the half hour where a nurse rummages around in your privates". Well you would have took your Heat magazine and shoved it where the sun don't shine.

Or the odd gin...can you see a pattern here?

It is important for anyone to remain human, good and kind to have time to do the things they enjoy, whether that be drinks with chums, watching reality tv or exercise. You may not believe me but with the benefit of hindsight (and the odd full on screaming crying breakdown) 'me time' is essential. It makes you a better Mother. It really does. I am lucky that I trust my other half with the kids whole heartily. Hell yeah they may end up looking like hobos for the day but I know - if needs be I could take one whole day to myself...

...but then we don't as we GET THE RUDDY GUILT. Curse you you b*stard! But now I force myself. I know tomorrow I have three hours 'off'. Previously I may have thought I could tackle some washing or cleaned the bathroom. But no. Tomorrow I am going to go to the shops, maybe eat a cake, without sharing, and enjoy some child free shopping. I guarantee the guilt will still get me to buy them something overpriced as that is what generally happens (gah). But I know that 'me time' will set me up for the next few weeks. Will keep me going. Keep me sane.

The people around you may not know you need your 'me time'. They may not understand that you've not really done anything for yourself for a long time bar have one bath with an old bath bomb. So it is vital you tell them. Without being hysterical. Don't let it get that far. When you feel ready force yourself to do something for you. It does feel a bit weird. No giant Mum bag, no one to lug around. But I promise you it will totally save your sanity. You will walk around as light as air, bags full of Primark tat and one over priced babies party outfit your saw in Next. And if you ever think of a better way to phrase than 'me time'. Let me know. As it irks me beyond belief.

Read past The Don't Beat Yourself Up Guides to C Sections here
being a crap wife here and being a crap friend here!

And here is my talking about me time on my YouTube channel!



16 comments:

  1. I'm am rubbish at asking for 'me time' - absolutely rubbish. Why do I feel guilty for 'making' my OH look after his own ruddy kid for a few hours? Probably because I know how much hard work it is. I think I'm bordering on the 'hysterical' stage at the moment, feel like I could have a breakdown at any given moment. Yep, I need some *cringe* me time ASAP.

    Jenna at Tinyfootsteps xx

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    1. Oh blimey you totes need some me time! Just take a few hours and do something you like. Yesterday I brought over priced boots and candles! Job. Done x

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  2. Love this. It's so true. I booked my "me time" with my husband this week. It's not until August 25th though so I might need to re-read your post and get something in sooner! Although it might give him time to prepare :)

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    1. Ha ha ha! You so need some me time before then lovely! x

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  3. Well put, we should totally remind ourselves to have a guilt-free bit of fun now and then. I went out last week for the evening. It's so rare that I go out alone that I realised I was stooping, as if I had a phantom baby in a sling. Also I stuffed everything in my pockets rather than a more practical handbag, just to celebrate not having to take a changing bag with me. Tragic.

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    1. When I went out shopping yesterday. I found myself weirdly talking to myself like the kids were there! I looked insane! x

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  4. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I have literally no "me time" EVER. OK, bit strong. But I do struggle for time. :) x

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    1. Oh bab - but maybe your me time could be your educationy bits? But granted that is hard me time! x

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  5. Great post - so important to have some time for ourselves every so often. It is hard not to feel guilty for doing so but it does make such a difference.

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    1. It does make a difference doesn't it? I loved my little morning to myself yesterday it was fab x

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  6. Loved this! My next 'me time' is in may and I'm away for a WHOLE weekend!!! Its a friends hen do and and I feel bad about 2 nights away and starting to wonder if I should just go up on the sat morning but sod it! my hubble had 2 stag weekends last year and one of them was 3 nights away for a stag do! Plus the tiddler was poorly. I deserve it... and sad that I'm more excited about the lie ins than the actual hen do lol!!

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    1. Whoop Whoop! A whole weekend!!!! I love the lie ins and the saying in a hotel. That's the best bloomin bit! Enjoy x

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  7. Loved this! My next 'me time' is in may and I'm away for a WHOLE weekend!!! Its a friends hen do and and I feel bad about 2 nights away and starting to wonder if I should just go up on the sat morning but sod it! my hubble had 2 stag weekends last year and one of them was 3 nights away for a stag do! Plus the tiddler was poorly. I deserve it... and sad that I'm more excited about the lie ins than the actual hen do lol!!

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  8. Drat! I knew there was a reason why sorting the washing wasn't giving me a warm fuzzy feeling. I need to rediscover 'me time'! X

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    1. Ha ha ha! You do - washing does not a woman make xxxx

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  9. It's taken me about 12 years to reach this point when i KNOW it's essential in my life and those around me. Great post missy. Looking forward to sharing some 'me time' with you in a few weeks time - now that does sounds odd ;) x

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