The Don't Beat Yourself Up Guide to Me Time

Right let's start off straight away by all agreeing 'me time' sounds a bit w*nky. I am aware of this but I can't think of any other way of saying it. It sniffs to me of an advert for a flake where the woman is all groaning with pleasure in a giant bubble bath. So I will be using the phrase 'me time' but believe you me I will be internally groaning whilst doing so.

The thing about kids is when you have them. You like love them and stuff. Like really love them. Your life pre kids may have been full of reading Heat magazine whilst watching Big Brother, or nipping to the shops to buy a nice impractical pair of heels. You may have thought "sod it" and gone straight out from work with your mates, got rat arsed and danced to the Backstreet Boys in the worlds worst club. And then the next day you stayed in bed, eating pizza watching Gossip Girl. Life was simple. Choices were simple. You could pretty much do what you want. When you want.

'Me time' may involve the odd Pimms.
Then all of a sudden you have this cute teeny tiny thing depending on you. And for a good few months you do nothing but feed, burp, change, put them down for a nap and repeat. And that's brilliant. That is what you are supposed to do. But then the months pass. And you start to notice that you didn't know that Kourtney Kardashian was pregnant again. You remember your last clothes purchase was a pair of maternity leggings and the last film you saw was the very first Hunger Games. And this my friends is when...wait for it...'me time' (vom) becomes essential.

Let's get this straight a smear test is not 'me time', a shower is not 'me time', I will go as far as saying? A haircut is not 'me time'. And don't be conned into thinking "could you watch the kids for fifteen minutes whilst I put the washing away please" is 'me time'. It's not. These things are basic human rights. If in your foot loose and fancy free days you were told "oh by the way soon you will not leave the house for a week bar for the half hour where a nurse rummages around in your privates". Well you would have took your Heat magazine and shoved it where the sun don't shine.

Or the odd gin...can you see a pattern here?

It is important for anyone to remain human, good and kind to have time to do the things they enjoy, whether that be drinks with chums, watching reality tv or exercise. You may not believe me but with the benefit of hindsight (and the odd full on screaming crying breakdown) 'me time' is essential. It makes you a better Mother. It really does. I am lucky that I trust my other half with the kids whole heartily. Hell yeah they may end up looking like hobos for the day but I know - if needs be I could take one whole day to myself...

...but then we don't as we GET THE RUDDY GUILT. Curse you you b*stard! But now I force myself. I know tomorrow I have three hours 'off'. Previously I may have thought I could tackle some washing or cleaned the bathroom. But no. Tomorrow I am going to go to the shops, maybe eat a cake, without sharing, and enjoy some child free shopping. I guarantee the guilt will still get me to buy them something overpriced as that is what generally happens (gah). But I know that 'me time' will set me up for the next few weeks. Will keep me going. Keep me sane.

The people around you may not know you need your 'me time'. They may not understand that you've not really done anything for yourself for a long time bar have one bath with an old bath bomb. So it is vital you tell them. Without being hysterical. Don't let it get that far. When you feel ready force yourself to do something for you. It does feel a bit weird. No giant Mum bag, no one to lug around. But I promise you it will totally save your sanity. You will walk around as light as air, bags full of Primark tat and one over priced babies party outfit your saw in Next. And if you ever think of a better way to phrase than 'me time'. Let me know. As it irks me beyond belief.

Read past The Don't Beat Yourself Up Guides to C Sections here
being a crap wife here and being a crap friend here!

And here is my talking about me time on my YouTube channel!

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