Thursday, 8 October 2015

The Five Stages Of Accepting Naps Have Stopped

Denial
Your Mother tells you "he's really hard to settle for his afternoon nap you know". You ignore her. The lady at nursery says "he didn't really sleep much today". You ignore her. Your husband angrily texts "I've been trying to get him to sleep for two hours now and he won't f*cking go!". You ignore him. And then one day after three hours of cajoling, reading stories, rocking, singing, stroking, slowing losing your mind?...


Anger
...YOU CAN CATEGORICALLY STATE THAT YOUR SON NO LONGER WANTS TO NAP AND THIS MAKES YOU SO ANGRY AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO AND HOW HAS THIS HAPPENED AND FOR F*CKS SAKE HOW ARE YOU GOING TO GET ANYTHING DONE AND IT'S NOT FAIR AND YOU READ SOMEWHERE SOMEONE'S KID NAPPED TILL FOUR YEARS OLD SO WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO YOU. Sob.


Bargaining
You resort back to ye olde tricks that you used with your first child. The 'nap on the move' manoeuvre. You go for drives to McDonalds. Sitting quietly supping on a Diet Coke for an hour desperately needing a wee. You shove your son and his long limbs into a too small buggy and walk around the streets where you live. You try singing songs in a manic voice in a vein attempt to get him to drop off (My song of choice? 'Hold On' by Wilson Phillips. Never f*cking works. B*stards).


Depression 
You reflect on the joy of naps gone by. That one once that was three hours long and you managed to watch two films. Or those brief three weeks where you got both children to nap at the same time. You sadly say goodbye to the odd hour here or there watching Made in Chelsea. Times when you attempted to clean (aka put a baby wipe over the grubby coffee table in the living room). It's gone. These moments have gone. And lets never forget those odd occasions when you managed a nap with your child as you were "JUST SOOOOOO TIRRRREEEED".


Acceptance
You knew it was coming, You had been putting off and it is time to accept that you no longer have any children that nap. Ever. You need to embrace it. Start to plan some messy play in the afternoons, or perhaps join a local playgroup...

...F*CK THAT. As long as his limbs aren't dragging on his floor your afternoons will be roaming the streets like a hobo pushing your son around and singing 90's ballads whilst the neighbours look on in amusement.

14 comments:

  1. *Hold on for one more day*

    (See what I did there? #proud)

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  2. Break free from those chains...

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  3. I dread the day my girl no longer naps. DREAD IT!

    Jenna at Tinyfootsteps xx

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  4. My three year old rarely naps and my one year old is getting to that point. I understand the frustration!

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  5. This was my most devastating moment.... realising that my 3 year old no longer napped and if he did he wouldn't go to bed until midnight.....

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  6. Oh dear! Keep on singing! Why is it everyone else's kids seem to sleep until they're 3 or 4.?My boys stopped just after their 2nd birthday and my daughter STOPPED AT SEVENTEEN MONTHS for goodness sake, while 3 year olds were basically sleeping from lunchtime until teatime and then going to bed at 7pm and sleeping all night!

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  7. Your choice of song is in fact EPIC! and that's all I can really say...apart from, I miss nap times, mine that is! Sorry Lovely, it sucks, right?! xoxo

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  8. Your comment about the glorious 3 weeks when they both napped is so true. My kids are the same age as yours and I had a golden month when both reliably napped at the same times. 2.5 years ago. Happiest month of my parenting life!

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  9. My sons afternoon has gone forever too. *cries uncontrollably* That was my time to watch trash TV, eat crisps and chocolate that didn't have snot and tears all over them. I am mourning the loss with you, Emma. xx

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  10. My son stopped napping 3 months ago just after his second birthday... Until the last few weeks when he keeps crashing in the afternoon at the weekend, which is great apart from it then means bedtime takes about 3 hours!!

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  11. O no.... I utterly dread this moment... you have my deepest sympathies x

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  12. I literally did all of this when my eldest gave up napping - it coincided with the day my middle one began napping. Cruel. So near yet so far. My youngest napped well into his third year. Karma.

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  13. Catching up on your back catalogue I read this. My daughter (3.5) will not nap in her bed, but always - ALWAYS - falls asleep in the car on the way to pick my son up from school. So sometimes I get a book and set off extra early so I can read in the car. Or I take my laptop so I can do some work. The car is my new office. And cleaning? I gave up on that long ago. Baby wipes all the way!

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  14. Cant get my 18month old to nap all afternoon. She drops at 4pm and is up till midnight trying to wake her brother. Arrrgh

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