18.5.16

The Don't Beat Yourself Up Guide To 'Juggling'

Disclaimer: this post is nothing to do with circus skills. It's nothing to do with trying to throw three balls in a decorative pattern all at one time. It's about something much harder. The never ending round of 'things' you have to keep up in the air when you become a parent. Pre-children life is relatively simple. You have to think about your job, try to work on your friendships and make sure you and your other half get on OK. Family needs to be considered and then you give the vacuum a quick run round. It's easy to manage. You are free to come and go as you please and can focus completely.

Then you add a small person to the mix and everything changes. Including your priorities. Suddenly things like seeing your friends become impossible, cleaning is never ending and chats with your husband usually take place over angry texts. Your job you once loved is an interruption in your day. After the joy of maternity leave it is just something you get through to get home and snuggle your baby. You're juggling a million and one things and not feeling that you are doing any of them particularly well

I am taking a selfie to prove I got two humans dressed and out of the house at 830am!
(OK so one looks mad but it's a start!)

Just when you get one thing cracked? You realise another is falling by the wayside. When you're asked to stay late at work for a meeting you have to explain that you need to get your child. Footloose and fancy free staff can stay there all night and then go to the pub. The gits. You finally arrange to see friends and then you get nits or your toddler gets chicken pox. Or worse both things happen. There has been more than the odd night where I have lay awake thinking about the vast amount of things I need to do or sat bolt upright worrying about dentist appointments and deadlines.

But I am afraid there is no solution to this. This is just the new norm. And it does get easier. And you do get into the swing of things. You just have to accept that you can't be great at everything. The only thing you need to try and be really great at is being a Mum. And that is the exact reason why all the other things fall by the wayside for a bit. For me sadly some friendships have just drifted away, polishing is now something more likely to be done with a baby wipe and I am quite firm with what I can and can't do at work.

I should be at home cleaning, or booking dentist appointments. But f*ck it. I went out

As whilst you have changed. Whilst you have had this amazing and life changing event? Other people are still getting on with life exactly the same way they did before you gave birth. Rude isn't it? It can feel like you are on an eternal treadmill never being able to stop and truly experience life like you did before. But? You have to. One day just leave the washing, another day make sure you see your friend. Sometimes spend the whole afternoon in your bed with your little one watching CBeebies and leave the work worries at the front door. Let a few of the balls drop. Even if it is just for an hour or so. And bathe in the amazing thing that you pushed out of your privates...oh and send a "love you" text to your other half. He's not a kn*b all the time.
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