Thursday, 7 April 2016

The Last Time

Today is a Thursday. Nothing special. Nothing to report home. Apart from today is the 'last' Thursday. It's the last Thursday I will have with my youngest with me before he starts pre-school three days a week next week. To be honest I forgot. But then I took the below photo and it dawned on me. That this time next week he won't be sneaking a nap on his big sister's bed, or having a cuddle with me. He won't be demanding snacks. He will be somewhere else. It will feel weird at first but like most last times? It will pass and quickly become part of the norm.


You never quite know when things are the last time do you? You spend the first 18 months or so thinking about 'firsts'. First smile, first word, first crawl, first time they sleep through the night (PRAISE THE LORD). You cheer when they do their first few steps and take a photo when they eat their first piece of food. But the last things just slip by. I can't remember the last bottle, or the last nappy I changed on my daughter. I don't remember the last time I cuddled her from her afternoon nap or the last time she needed me to help her up the slide at the park.

They don't make shabby chic milestone cards that say "This is the last bottle you will feed your baby before she drinks watery squash like a big girl". Or "This is the last Thursday you will spend with your son before he starts to learn all about the big wide world". Those would be seriously sad cards. You would have big beaming smiles on your children in the photos. But your heart would be heavy whilst you uploaded them to Facebook.


One of the most glorious things about becoming a parent is that you get to see your tiny baby develop into a stubborn (and sometimes insane) toddler and you beam with pride as you watch them perform in the Nativity. Their hair all scruffy and their shirt untucked. That's as far as I have got down the path of watching my two grow up. But I know there will be the last time they want to hold my hand in public. The last time I can kiss the back of their neck without them screaming "IT'S WEIRD". There will be a last time I see them walk out of the house to go to secondary school. And the last time they leave me to go to University. Or, gulp, the last day I see them before they themselves become parents.

So whilst we will always record the first times with photos and applause. I am also going to start to focus on the 'last' times. When my son awakes all grumpy from his nap and I get to hold him whilst he comes round. I will treat it like the last time. When my daughter jumps on my lap for a cuddle and a kiss, even though I have a million and one things to do. I will slobber over her neck whilst I can. The first times are for them. But the last times? For us. To remember forever.

14 comments:

  1. I am now crying. Gorgeous post, all so true. Thanks for the reminder, I'll make more of the potential 'lasts'. Hope you've enjoyed your last Thursday xx

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    1. You know what I have thought of? The last time us lot have a playdate. And that made me really sad! x

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  2. Such a lovely post.x

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  3. Beautiful Emma, I have a similar post in my drafts that I just can't bring myself to write! xx

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  4. Such a cute photo of the little dude in his sunglasses! It's sad, but we often don't realise things are the last time until they've happened. So well done to you for treasuring these little moments. I know my last time of crossing the road at the lollipop lady outside school is fast approaching as my daughter really doesn't need me to cross with her any more, but I'm going to try to keep it going until the end of year 5!

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    1. Ha ha ha! Keep doing it until she is 21! x

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  5. Yep!! I think about the lasts! I had to move my last breastfeed back a day because there were people around for the 'last-but-one' and I wanted it all to myself. And I remember the last time Little P fell asleep cuddling me before she gave up the Baby Crown and became a big sister. Oh god! I'm welling up now!xx

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    1. Oh god it's all so sad. I can imagine giving up breast feeding REALLY hard! x

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  6. T starts preschool in September and the thought makes me want to cry at the moment. Our littlests are growing up far too quickly! x

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  7. Awww - so true.This put a little lump in my throat. I've been feeling the same lately with my youngest going to reception in Sept. I only work PT and while I can't wait to have some freedom, im also feeling upset that this is the last time I do this with my last child.

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  8. Ooh this one had me tearing up! It's only now that I look back on the 'lasts' with fondness cos most of the time you don't realise they are coming. I do remember the last time I took my son out for the day before he started school. That was such a precious memory that I will hold very dear. Because I always had another child when my eldest two started school it just didn't seem quite so significant. Precious times. x

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