7.10.18

The Eternal Struggle Of Trying To Juggle

This week I nearly lost it. OK this week I did lose it. And I did that thing where I rant at my husband who looks truly bemused about what on earth is going on. Why is his wife doing the sobby shouty thing he hates so much when all he did was walk into the bedroom with some washing to put away. This week I truly feel that the juggle is real. It appears that the pressures of parenting, rather than alleviating with them getting older, they are getting stronger. There are no books to guide you on the many and varied tasks you are expected to do that fall under 'mum-min'.

This week has included three after school activities, the preparation for trips, harvest festivals, toast money, lunch money, sandwiches for packed lunches on the days she doesn't have lunch money, organising play dates, two days off for a poorly boy, ordering school photos, buying appropriate gifts for a seven year old. My diary is full of endless confusing notes that say things like 'WELLIES' or 'SILLY HAT'. And this is before I have even thought about cleaning my house, working and feeding the humans I love to keep them alive.


My husband and I communicate via texts which romantically include amazon links for things we need to Prime the sh*t out of because we have forgot a deadline. And joint online diary entries which just say 'DO THE SCHOOL RUN AND A REMEMBER GREEN T SHIRT'. I am well and truly overwhelmed and feel like I am drowning with trying to fit everything in. I am torn between thinking that everyone lives their lives a bit frazzled and on edge or it could simply be the fact that I am just a teeny bit crap an organising things.

I have been known to make lists of all the many and varied things I need to do and add a few on the bottom I have already done so at least I can tick them off. Which is not a rational thing to do. I have a Masters in Education, I have my own business, I have forgotten my daughters packed lunch EVERY DAY since she started the new term. So what on earth is the solution? How do I all of a sudden become a Mum who has her sh*t together. How do I juggle making packed lunches, with ordering school photos, whilst answering work emails, having actual conversations with my husband and ordering a new street dance outfit?

I think the answer is. I never will. I will always be on the edge of forgetting something but not quite knowing what it is. I will probably every three months scream at my confused husband "WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO TAKE THEM TO SWIMMING LESSONS". But I suppose we can see it this way. The reason why I am stressed and frazzled is because I love my two beauts so, so very much I want the best for them. I want the little feet I grew in the right shoes for trips. I want their heads to be wearing the silliest hats on silly hat day and I want to make sure I order school photos to keep forever. The struggle of the juggle is now just part of my life. And I'm going to add an alarm in my phone on Mondays, Wednesdays and Friday that will just say "DO NOT FORGET THE F*CKING PACKED LUNCH".
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